I don't own a toothbrush

NASTY-V comes to us from Cassie. I have a couple of thoughts on what "V" could stand for. I think you probably have some thoughts too. I also found an entry in the Urban Dictionary for "Nasty V," but I don't know if I'm entirely comfortable with linking to it, so go there and search it for yourself. (Warning! Not for the children!!)

Nasty, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is something described as disgustingly filthy or physically repugnant. Sounds like a great idea for a vanity plate. Thanks for sharing, NASTY-V!

I sneak up on people

I've had several requests to bash hybrid vanity plates. For those of you who have emailed me, consider this post your dream come true. You're welcome.


These first two plates come from Jen G. 7T MPG (Seven Tee Miles Per Gallon... Seventy Miles Per Gallon). The plate holder says I NEED MY SPACE. Yes, for all that smug you carry around.
IH8 GAS (I hate gas). Wait a second, haven't I seen this before? I have (see Silent But Deadly), except now you love zombies. Fantastic. You know you have a bad plate when two separate people send it to the same website. Also, here is a suggestion for the driver: Try Beano.58MPG is from Amanda J. She writes: I can understand the excitement of having to get gas about half as many times as normal, but exactly how excited do you have to be to do this?HYB1RD. Unfortunately, this looks like High Bird, no? LadyStyx, who sent in this picture, seems to agree. She writes: So, what, Big Bird got into Snuffy's main stash?

Congratulations to this driver for botching the word hybrid completely.

Originality. Priceless.

How unique are you if everyone else is doing the same exact thing? Well, I shouldn't say the exact same thing... vanity plates wouldn't be vanity plates without their creative interpretations and blatant misspellings. B UNEAK (Be unique) is from Meg G.

Yes, be unique, just like everybody else.

Jennifer D. sent us UN1QUE. Yes, we get it. The "1" is an "I" so.very.unique. Actually, we've seen this techn1que before.

Karl M. sent in YOU-NEEK with this accompanying joke: How do you catch a unique rabbit? You neek up on him!

One of the first submissions to our site was very UNEEK. Check it out!

Giggity-giggty-goo

GIGGITY was sent in by Amanda L. For those of you who aren't Family Guy fans, this is the signature statement of the hypersexual character Glenn Quagmire when he refers to The Deed, usually stated with something like, "Soccer moms!? Alll right! GIGGITY, GIGGITY, GIGGITY!" Here he is telling a scary story. Quagmire is obsessed with Lois, feet, and underage women.

I mean, who wouldn't want to associate themselves with Spooner Street's resident perv?

I don't think they mean vagabonds

I LV VAG was snapped and sent in by Laura. She writes:

I was on my way to a friend's wedding yesterday and spotted this gem... I was able to grab a quick photo before the light changed; it's times like this that I'm glad that I always have my camera on me.

Since we are celebrating women parts (I guess?) you can see other Virginia vagina vanity plates here and here, and don't forget about the BQQBS.

For a limited amount of time, you pay NO SHIPPING!

It's Sunday, and you know what that means! Vanity of the religious kind! Let's get this party started, shall we? Today's plate comes to us from Squidrox, TRY JC (Try JC, JC= Jesus Christ?).

Well, as the great Yoda once said: Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

Do visit us on Twitter, you will.

Because we're too cool to say "legitimate"

So I guess there are at least 2 MC Hammer fans out there bold enough to state so on their license plates (see previously: E=MC (Hammer)). Amanda sent in 2 LEGIT. For those of you who need the explanation, Too Legit To Quit was the smash hit by MC Hammer, or just "Hammer" as he was called at the time.

Take a trip back to 1991 with me and see the awesome video here, and some hilariously inspired hand movements here with Andy Samberg.

HOW COULD I MISS YOU?

PENNR was spotted by Crazy Cat Lady, Carm. I think this is our first motorcycle plate— Creepiness in 6 characters or less. Carm writes:

Penners is a name for ornamental game birds???
Or was he a jail bird? as in Penitentiary...
Or perhaps he does Calligraphy?

And we mustn't forget this man's highlighter yellow shirt: CAN YOU SEE ME NOW ASSHOLE? I mean, really? Must you assume everyone who drives a car is a blind jerkface? Not all of us drive obnoxious urban assault vehicles. I think that attitude makes you the asshole, sir.

When I grow up, I want to be a Disney Princess

CYNDRLA (Cinderella?) was sent in by J.D. I just love (*cringes teeth*) when people add those custom text signs to their plates. The text at the bottom of the plate reads: All you really need is the right pair of shoes.

It looks to me like this vanity plate holder was modified, doesn't it? Like they ripped off the top part of the holder and screwed it on to the bottom? I think Arizona just passed a law that prohibits drivers from covering up the ARIZONA on the plate, so this makes some sense I guess. Thinking that you are Cinderella and that shoes will give you some sort of power, however? This doesn't make any sense at all.

Save your breath— you'll need it to blow up your date

Tina M. spotted this chick magnet from Virginia. She writes: ... then I saw JRKFACE and just had to pull into a parking lot to get a picture of it. If you're a jerkface, why would you want to advertise it??

Maybe because you have a beautiful jerk face? Maybe it twitches? Ladies? Any takers...?

*crickets*

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Car Decals

Manners From A 2 Year Old

Amanda S. (platerazzo who snapped this photo of TOOOT) writes:

What do you say when you toot? (I ask my 2 year old)
'Scuse me! (Her reply)

Why yes, we have received a plate that says exactly that: XCUSEME (Excuse me). This photo was taken by Corianne. I'm not sure it was because this driver let out a toot of their own either. She writes: Hi, I found this one near my house. It makes sense that his plate should say "Xcuseme," because he drove like an idiot.

More fart themed plates for your enjoyment here: Fortunately... But Unfortunately..., Now Running on Natural Gas, and Silent, But Deadly.

Xanthophobia

IH8YLO (I hate yellow?) was snapped by LadyStyx.


Uhh....? I might be missing something here, but if someone hates yellow, what would possess that person to get a vehicle that is yellow? Are you xanthophobic and trying to work through some things? A strange attempt at sarcasm? You have to love that this driver decided to pick the Virginia JMU vanity plate which contains the most yellow of any VA plates we've seen yet. Awesome work, yellow hater.

Does Not Compute

Welcome to Lovin' the Lord Sunday everyone!

It's good that this holy roller has included the license plate frame (PRAISE GOD WITH DANCING [WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?]). Unfortunately that is only useful when you are this close to the vehicle. The rest of us just see DNC4GOD (DNC for God) from our point of view:

DNC:

(1) "Does not compute" for God.

(2) Do-Not-Call for God

(3) Dilation and curettage (disturbing) for God?

(4) Democratic National Committee for God

Plate was snapped by Smoochiefrog.

Do what now?

Welcome to this edition of What The Hell Is That Supposed To Mean?

Karl M. sent in DIAF PLZ. Any guesses? I was clueless until I read his email: This plate took some decoding. According to the urban lingo dictionary: DIAF PLZ = Die in a fire, please. How rude!

I can't find internet confirmation of this one, but Kate sent in BUAKMA, which apparently means Bounce Up And Kiss My Ass. Lovely Virginia!

Don't you feel better now that you know? Now go DIAF. (JK, you know we love you guys)

It's Not Easy Being Cheesy

Alright platerazzi, strap on your thinking caps for this one.

Nancy sent in AN BYOND (and beyond). Get it? It's an Infinity. To infinity and beyond, ring a bell?

Jenne sent in HISSY. It's on a Honda Fit. You can do it! Put it together now! HISSY FIT!

And I'm spent.

Need more mind bending vanity plates? Don't forget about our good friend Count BLACURA and this Honda Element gem.

That's a funny spelling of Virginia!

Jay B. sent us this University of Virginia plate with an (un)appropriately placed V making this plate say: VAGYNYA (vagina). *slams head on desk*

He writes: Ya shoulda been there when I saw it, almost pissed myself. Obviously, the dude is a GYN, who went to UVA, but it's still hilarious!

Jay, I think we are all pissing ourselves right now.

Not just anybody

PLS HELP (Please Help) was sent in by LadyStyx.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME? I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND MY TURN SIGNAL. ACTUALLY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. HA-HA. AND WHAT ARE ALL THOSE SILLY LINES PAINTED ON THE ROADS? WHATEVER! I DRIVE WHERE I WANT. YIELD -- IS THAT DUTCH OR SOMETHING? FLASHING RED LIGHT, HOW YOU CONFUSE ME! WHY AM I SHOUTING? SEND HELP SOON.

LOVE,

THE CRAZY DRIVER IN FRONT OF YOU.

Quiet, please!

Melody writes:

This license plate is my husband's - and I love it!!! After he bought the Smart car, he had the brilliant idea to request a plate saying "Not Dumb" (note the location of the Smart logo) - but in the week between checking availability of the plate and actually submitting the request, someone else snapped up his idea. He came up with this instead! :-)

I like it too, Melody. There are a few plates that make us chuckle and think that maybe this vanity plate thing isn't so bad. To all the lame vanity plates out there, however, they can still GO STFU. KTHXBYE!

To go somewhere to have breakfast, lunch, or dinner, particularly at a restaurant

280 days ago we started this website thinking that eventually we'd run out of material. Boy, were we wrong. HLPs (horrible license plates) keep pouring in daily. The platerazzi never cease to amaze us, like this fine example from Chrissy G.– IEATOUT (I eat out). She writes:

I spotted this plate while making the nine hour journey to my hometown for the 4th of July weekend. My mind immediately went into the gutter, but my husband was a little more forgiving. He said, "Maybe they're a restaurant critic. Or just a fan of Cunning Linguists."

Jesus is my spell checking homeboy

Welcome to Lovin' the Lord Sunday. Today's theme:

(Q) What would Jesus do? (A) Use the spell checker.
Tracy sent in GEE ZUS. Geez.

Kate sent us B4GZUS (Before Jesus?). Or maybe it's BAJESUS? Like, "You scared the Bajesus out of me!"?
Erika S. sent in JSUSSVS (Jesus saves). This driver saves his character limit by excluding the E.
Karl M. found 4CRYST (For Christ?). He writes: Jeebers Chryst, dis driver needs ah gud speelin' lessin - and some serious driving lessons too - the blue handicap spots are for the handicapped - and this person has many mental handicaps, but none that qualified them to use the spot (and no rearview mirror handicap hangy thingy either, I checked).

Ah don't fret my friends— A member of the platerazzi has found the real Jesus (who spells his name correctly). He drives an Escalade.

Well, you was doing fitty five in a fitty fo'

Platty sent us 99 PROBS, which I assume refers to the Jay-Z song, 99 Problems. Essentially the main theme of 99 Problems can be summed up with the line, "If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you son. I've got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain't one."

So there. You've been schooled.

I've got 99 problems, but a vanity plate ain't one.

Virginia DMV FAIL

see more Fail Blog

Thanks for all the emails and tweets on this. I couldn't help but re-post this picture here.

Oh Virginia, if you aren't eating the kids, you are beating them. What are you going to think of next?

If I keep these vanity plates on my car, no one will die

Do you suffer from ANXITY?

Why don't you FNRELAX already!?

I am loving that the anxiety plate is the wildflowers version of the Virginia plate. Anthophobia is a serious problem people. THE FLOWERS ARE COMING TO EAT YOU ALIVE! Rawr?

Kate sent in ANXITY, and FNRELAX is from LadyStyx.

Sorry for my awkward and excessive self disclosure

Jessica V. sent us ITZ LONG (It's long). She writes:

My friends and I were walking in the parking lot when we saw this and I immediately knew I HAD to take a picture and send it in! I feel creeped out just by looking at it...

Really, dude? TMI!

My anaconda don't. want. none. unless you got vanity plates. HON!

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at his vanity plate. It is so dumb. It looks like, one of those rap guys' license plates. But, you know, who understands those rap guys? They only drive that thing, because, it looks like a total prostitute!

OMGBEKY (Oh my God, Becky) is an anonymous submission from the great state of California. You know, there are a few license plates out there that we actually give our approval to, and if this is referring to the Sir-Mix-A-Lot song, Baby Got Back, then we give it two thumbs up. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring.

Rawr?

BUTZILA comes to us from Christina S. I've heard of a Bridezilla before, but never a Buttzilla.

In my mind I imagined two giant prehistoric butt cheeks with tiny claws protruding from them, knocking over buildings and farting atomic fire. Um... awesome. Watch out for this guy!

What wouldn't he do?

Jamie M. sends us HEYWWJD (Hey, what would Jesus Do?). I like the aggressiveness of this plate. It's like, HEY, DO WHAT I TELL YOU, OR ELSE (in the name of the Lord).

Join us on facebook, why don't ya? We just got our new custom URL: http://www.facebook.com/HorribleLicensePlates

You look like the 4th of July. That makes me want to have a hot dog real bad.

Happy 4th of July! And what better way to celebrate America's independence than by making fun of vanity plates. Our first plate comes to us from LadyStyx. Proud to be a Mrican.

51ST ST8 was send in by malmok. Note that this plate is from Ontario. Canada is like America's hat, no doot aboot it.
Arlynn sent us BORNUSA (BORN iN USA. I born in USA, but I don't speak very good English well. Do you like alternate two flags? Yes?


At least we still have the freedom to put whatever horrible phrase we want on our vanity plates. Thank you America. Now, get me that hot dog.

Will Press Lever For Food

Our first plate, RATMOM, was sent in by Barb T. Everyone knows rats are gross, so I don't know why this plate would be their first option except to remind people that, ew, rats are nasty.

LUVRATZ (Love rats) comes to us from str8cre8. I just want to cover the word "Great" on this license plate frame with a sticker that says "Creepy."

If there were two things in this world I hate most, it's (1) vanity plates and (2) hairless rats. You can see why these plates don't thrill me. Bleh! Let the rat war begin.

This car is invisible when you aren't looking

C4NT CM3 (Can't See Me). For all you non-l33+ speakers, the 4 represents an A and the 3 represents an E. But if you tilt your head to the site a little that 4 could be a... well... I don't want to go there. Photo was captured by Amanda T.

If fact, we can see you, sir, and we have photographic evidence. Also, if you want be be so invisible, why would you put such a large wing on the back of your obnoxiously red vehicle? I can see that monstrosity from a mile away. Maybe because it helps you go so fast you become invisible? Congratulations, you are officially the coolest person in the world.

What are you in for? Horrible vanity plates.

6XCONS (6 ex-cons?) comes to us from Kolleen.

I bet this driver doesn't get pulled over at all. I am sure I am missing something with this plate, because why would you ever want to put this information on a vanity plate? Hey officer, we've served jail time! Please look in the trunk! And there are six of you? I hope this plate isn't on a Smart Car. Creeptastic.