Spreading joy with a howdy ho!

From wikipedia: Mr. Hankey the "Christmas Poo", voiced by Trey Parker, is a talking piece of feces. He first appeared in the first season episode "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo". He emerges from the toilet bowl on Christmas Eve and brings presents to good boys and girls whose diets have been high in fiber. Here is his theme song.

Sure it's funny to act 12, and joke about poop every once in a while, but do you really need to commemorate that on your vehicle's license plate? We think not, but thanks for the laughs Mr. Hankey.

Flush him down but he's never gone. His smell and his spirit linger on. Howdy Ho!

(Plate snapped by Melani X.)

Whassup, pudding cup?

(Not much. Wasssup wit you?)

Marisa writes:

Nothing says proper respect and love for your Lord like addressing him in slang.

I guess this could also mean "It's up to to God", but I kind of like it better as "S'up to God".

Holla at your Lord!

Covert Fail

BLACK OP from wikipedia:

A black operation or black op is a covert operation typically involving activities that are highly secret.

Highly secret, indeed! The first thing I would do if I got a secret mission would be to (1) tell everyone I know that I have a secret mission. And (2) make Mr. HLP make us t-shirts that say SHHH! SECRET MISSION IN PROGRESS, but I would never consider a vanity license plate. I mean, what an idiot!

EEEK

While browsing the archives today I stumbled upon an issue that drives me insane: the overuse of Es. And because there was such an eeenormous number of theeese plates, I decided that I am going to post them all, rapid fire. WELCOME TO VANITEEE PLATE HEEELLLLLL. Not only are there 3 Es there are 2 As. Hhhhhh.

Just to be sure, use more Es.

FOUR Es!!

Maybe you should get more SLEEEEP!

Well, I'm off to go claw my eyes out...

Photo cred:

Jennifer D. - ASHLEEEE

Larisa S. - SEEYAA

Kolleen - COFFEEE

Hossrex - 4SUREEE

Karl M. - SLEEEP

LadyStyx - SWEEED and FRREEEK

Why?

Kate has been finding some real gems lately. UP OURS while obviously hilarious, still confuses me a bit. The phrase "up yours" is usually stated when one wishes that another would shove a particular issue up the other's (um, how do I say this nicely?? *Opens thesaurus...) poop factory.

So, let me get this straight. By saying UP OURS you wish to shove that particular issue up your own?

Those that can't do, teach, and those that can't teach... teach gym.

Yes, it's back-to-school time for a lot of you right now, so I thought we'd bring you some educational plates. Educational in the sense that you now know that your child's teacher might be dumb as a rock.

This first example shows that quite well. Smoochiefrog captured LOV2TCH, which we might assume means Loves to Teach. Great. However, it could also mean Loves to Touch. Not really something I'm looking for in a teacher.

Alison B. sent in EDJUK8 (Educate). There is no greater lesson we can teach our kids: When in doubt, use numbers to represent works and sounds.

JP sent in a similar plate, EDDUK8. He writes: I only hope the driver doesn't teach spelling (or my kids anything)!

Yes, r edukatun sistem can has faled us. (Personally, I love teachers [the ones without vanity plates], so I'll just go ahead and blame the lolcats.)

Baked

Kate sent in this plate, I WORK HI (I work high?). Maybe this is just an oddly worded phrase. Like instead of, "Hi, I work," you go for the opposite approach, "I work, Hi!" Or maybe you work on the 25th floor? In Hawaii?

All of those ideas aside, the first thing I imagined was this dude rolling a doobie before work, a quality every employer looks for in future employees...

Interviewer: Do you have any more questions before we finish the interview?
Dude: [through squinty eyes] Yeah man, do you have any, like, vending machines?

When in doubt...

The ribbon says "Support Bad Girls". SPANK IT is from Phil: When I first saw it, I had thought of other things... Not sure if the sticker on the side is supposed to explain it or make it creepier.

Really? This kind of disclosure should not be public knowledge! Especially on a vanity plate! On your car! That you have to drive around for a year! I'm trying to keep down my breakfast here.

Although, I think a better bumper sticker would have read: I didn't spank it, I just high-fived yo' ass.

Not all habits are bad

Amanda from The Perplexikon sent in 1 X NUN (One ex-nun?).

I don't understand... You were a nun once, but now you aren't... and you want the world to know? Odd, don't you think? Unless there is something I am missing here.

Or maybe you are a nun? I mean 1 x NUN = NUN, right? Well in that case, rock on sister. Posted today because nuns are obviously Lovin' the Lord.

Fun with Misinterpretations (2nd edition)

I enjoyed writing last Saturday's Fun with Misinterpretations so much that I thought we'd do it again this week.Our first plate is from Lexi. GN SHOPN looks to me like this driver has "gone shopping," but she could also be in the market for a new gun. Or gin. I don't know which is worse.

Kelly sent in MOOSEX4. She writes: I don't know, maybe this was supposed to be moose x 4 (which still makes no sense), but as soon as I saw it I thought moo sex. Sex with cows. Moo.

Utterly insane.

Got any more misinterpretations for us? Send them our way!

Honk if you're about to run me over

@theschwalb sent me this via twitter a few days ago and I think it deserves front page status. U STPDAZ, I assume, means You Stupid Ass.

But really, who is the intelligent one now? At least I know how to spell correctly, put spaces where they are needed, and refrain from using a Z to represent an S sound. And if this driver is calling me a stupid ass, doesn't that make him a smart ass?

The doctor called me "special"

(1) Definition: lax: (adj) lacking in strength or firmness or resilience; "a lax rope"; "a limp handshake"

(2) Definition: nutz: (noun) slang for testicles

You might be crazy about lacrosse, but we think otherwise.

Give thanks! I bring you vanity!

Larisa S. sent in this gem. She writes: I finally tracked down one I've been trying to get for months. GratefuL: This is "When 6 is not enough spaces."

Yeah, RATEFU just wouldn't have the same effect. For the record: This plate is my worst nightmare. I mean people are actually adding MORE letters?! *sigh

April H. sent in B GR8FL (Be grateful). And I would be grateful too if I were driving a BMW convertible. I mean...I'm just sayin' ::throwing hands up and shrugging shoulders::

I love it when a vanity plate tells me how I should feel, don't you?

So this last one is a little tricky, but I think it still means grateful. I mean, there is no hideous 8 to really make it official, but I have my reasons.

What gives it away you ask? The hand in this one has no middle finger. After a quick internet search or two I discovered that Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead had no middle finger on his right hand. Those crafty little hippies! (Picture snapped by Diona)

That's how I roll

NTFAKN (Not fakin') is from Tina.

Okay, okay! We get it, and now you have the vanity plate to make us feel bad about it.

RAPTOR comes to us from Evan B.

I could definitely see how being a dinosaur would be difficult. If that is the case, I just don't understand why you need a closer parking space...

*In my best dinosaur voice: Because "I have a big head and little arms!!"

Yes. Under my CLOTHES!

RU NAK3D (Are you naked?) was snapped by Kate. She writes: I'm sitting in the walmart parking lot and just happen to look up at the Jeep in front of me and see this gem! Question of the day!

So this driver is either a nudist, a late-night-call-taker, or just plain creepy. I'm going to go with creepy. Also creepy is the use of the 3 to represent an E. Are there really two of these plates in Virginia somewhere?

State of Virginia, I beg you!! HIRE A PROOF READER!!

Did It Hurt? When you fell from heaven?

Why get HVNSNT on a vanity plate? Because... How else is everyone going to know how angelic you are? (plate from MooseNuggette)

Robin D. sent in HVNSENT. She writes: Someone thinks highly of themselves!
The last offender here is HVN CENT from Lindsey S. Her comment was simply: Like 50 Cent?

I was shocked to realize I had not just one of these eye-rollers, but THREE. Are they worth of Lovin' the Lord status? Maybe not. Probably more of a Lovin' thy Self theme, but at the very least they acknowledge heaven.

Fun With Misinterpretations!

One of the great things about vanity license plates is that there can be a lot of different ways of interpreting them. Many times we go back to read the comments on a post and people have discovered an even more ridiculous meaning in the plates.

So I thought, why not take this moment and do some more of that? If you have any more suggestions please feel free to comment. These first two plates come from MooseNuggette.

I assume this driver wanted "Peaches", but doesn't it really look like PEE CHEESE? I mean, the car is yellow! Cheese chunks in your urine is a sign of much bigger problems to come.

Here I think this driver was going for "trade wind" perhaps? However, all I see is TURD WIND. Silent but deadly.

David H. helps us out with this misinterpretation: I followed this guy on the way to work one morning recently and just had to take a picture. My guess is that they intended for the plate to say "Our Great Dad" but when I saw it I immediately thought "Roger Ate Dad." I couldn't stop laughing!

I'm looking forward to regretting this later.

TORE UP was sent in to us by Carrisa D. The urban dictionary defines tore up as: So drunk you think that doing things that are incredibly bad for you are also incredibly funny. "Let's get tore up and pass out in the hot sun!"

Notice they don't say, "Let's get tore up and ride around in my Honda Pilot." Morons.

Almost as good as this license plate fail: Beer is the answer, but I don't remember the question.

So that's what that smell is...

Alison B. sent us this lovely plate from Arizona, 2OLDFTS (Two Old Farts?). And since I am all out of fart jokes I will be posting this information from the disturbingly detailed wikipedia entry for fart:

-He who observed it served it.
-He who first detected it ejected it.
-He who said the rhyme did the crime.
-Whoever blamed it flamed it.
-Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
-Whoever rhymed it grimed it.
-Whoever denied it supplied it.
-He who smelt it dealt it.
-The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.

Okay, I lied. I have one more joke: What is worse than two old farts? Two old farts that smell like a new one!

But seriously people, why call yourselves farts on a license plate?! Why?!

More fart themed plates for your enjoyment here: Fortunately... But Unfortunately..., Now Running on Natural Gas, and Silent, But Deadly.

Things You Don't Yell In The Middle Of Church

Donna F. sent in 6SIX6 (666). This is on Virginia's Harley Owners Group plate. In addition to being the sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel, it's also most famously know for being the Number of the Beast.

Note to self: Satan drives a Mustang.

Why not finish an evil themed post with a wicked laugh? MWAHAHA comes to us from Georgina S. Doesn't it look like that little bird to the left of the phrase is tweeting that?

Speaking of tweets. Check ours out. We think they're sweet.

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever

Just so you know, there are several definitions for the word Hummer, one of which is this massive piece of gas guzzling metal from General Motors. The other definition that comes to mind is, um, well, just go to our friends at the Urban Dictionary and find out for yourselves. Don't say you weren't warned [GINORMOUS WARNING!]. After reading that you would have to assume that at least a few of these people know the alternate definition...

The above plate UWANT1 (You want one) is from MooseNuggette. Our first from Alaska!

GIVEMEA (Give me a... Hummer) is from Jean (Amazingly, also from Alaska). She writes: Some people never grow up. Yes, some people are just cleverly disguised as adults.

Amanda T. sent in this next picture. Yes, that says LV HUMR. (Love Hummers?).

TMI, people. TMI.

Please keep your tops on

& TOPLSS comes to us from Kolleen.

The plate holder reads, "I'D RATHER BE DANCING." Get it...? I'd rather be dancing and topless.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

I understand this is probably a convertible Saab and the driver is just trying to be cute, but unfortunately the rest of the world just thinks your a stripper. Let the eye rolling begin!

Jesus knows a lot about drilling

JP sent us WWJD 316 (What Would Jesus Do? John 3:16?). He writes: I especially like the contrast between WWJD and the "drill here, drill now, pay less" sticker in the window. Is that what JWD? The plate frame also adds to the richness of the picture... PS - Driving in the NYC metro area I never in a million years thought I would see a Jesus plate on the road. I didn't think it fit the demographics of the area. Wrong again!

Click the photo to get a larger view of the sticker/plate holder. The license plate frame reads, HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION? GOD ALLOWS U-TURNS. Hmm, and here I thought U-turns were only legal in Michigan... or when Tom Tom says so.

For more Jesus plates, see Lovin' the Lord.

Honey, it's not PMS. It's you.

I H8 PMS (I hate PMS) was captured by Katie O. What do you get when you combine PMS with GPS? A crazy woman who WILL find you.

CZILLA is from Larisa S. The license plate holder reads, I HAVE PMS AND A HANDGUN. Awesome. There is nothing like the trifecta of crazy women, handguns, and vanity plates. Also, the thought of a pre-menstrual, fire breathing, Godzilla-like monster is scaring me, just like BUTZILA did a month ago.

Who are these women who are having PMS 24-7? I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's impossible. Sounds to me like PMS is more along the lines of meaning Princess Making a Scene.

Short and Curlies

PEWB (uh, does that say pube??!). I apologize for the quality of this photo, but I just have to post this plate. Mainly to warn drivers that your nickname might be slang for something repulsive, like those tiny, dark hairs all over your bathroom floor, so it's best to keep names off vanity plates. I guess this could also stand for something else, but the majority of people are probably sitting behind this driver in traffic trying keep their lunch from coming back up.

See also Warning: Your Nickname Might Be Slang For "Crotch".

This plate was captured by Dan over at Daily Gif Blog.

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what state this plate is from. Thanks!

Your son Rip is on line toot

KSMYGAS (Kiss my gas). The license plate holder says, "My Car $tarve$ Terrorits. Does Yours?" Whaaaat?

I think using dollar signs to replace S's is your first strike. Your second strike is using capital letters throughout a sentence. Your third strike is simply, OMG you're an idiot.

Please don't get me wrong. I am all for conserving energy, hybrid vehicles, cash for clunkers, and all of that good stuff. Yes, traditional cars cause smog, but hybrid cars cause smug, and in our opinion that is way worse.

I'd like to buy a vowel, for the children of Maine

CUTKIDS (Cut kids?!) comes to us from Heather A. I can see the dialog at the Maine DMV now...

Driver: I want the plate to say CUTEKIDS. I want everyone to know that I have cute kids, and that makes me awesome.
DMV worker: Ma'am, if you would like the exclusive bird and pine cone "Vacationland" plate you can only have 7 characters on your plate.
Driver: Uh, okay. There must be an expendable vowel here somewhere. Let's see. How about that E.
DMV worker: Whatever you say. [mutters under breath] Idiots.

Eminem goes to Cape Cod

SHADY comes to us from Five Tomatoes.

Yes, there is nothing like promoting the fact that you are, indeed, creepy. Shady, according to the dictionary, means of dubious character; rather disreputable. I just hope this driver isn't a school bus driver. I am also enjoying the Massachusetts plate slogan, The Spirit of America, because nothing says America more to me than shady creepers with vanity plates.

Extreme gas guzzling arrogance

2HUMMBL (Too Humble) is from platty.

Humble, according to the dictionary is anything marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful. Yes, nothing makes me feel more humble than 10 MPG or the ability to crush anything that gets in my way. I also enjoy running over economy cars, doubling my carbon emissions, and generally compensating for my small, uh, "brain."

Because religion and vanity go hand in hand

PRZ 2 GOD (Praise to God) was snapped for Lovin' the Lord Sunday by Lexi. The use of "Z" to mean "-aise" is a little nauseating.

Rhys sent in GR8GOD (Great God). She writes:

Just yesterday, I bought myself a spiffy new camera to carry around with me, and today what do I see on my way home from work but a Scion lovin' the lord! If I were a religious woman, I'd think it was a sign.

What is up with the -2? Religious math problem? Great God minus two = ??