So that's what that smell is...

Alison B. sent us this lovely plate from Arizona, 2OLDFTS (Two Old Farts?). And since I am all out of fart jokes I will be posting this information from the disturbingly detailed wikipedia entry for fart:

-He who observed it served it.
-He who first detected it ejected it.
-He who said the rhyme did the crime.
-Whoever blamed it flamed it.
-Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
-Whoever rhymed it grimed it.
-Whoever denied it supplied it.
-He who smelt it dealt it.
-The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.

Okay, I lied. I have one more joke: What is worse than two old farts? Two old farts that smell like a new one!

But seriously people, why call yourselves farts on a license plate?! Why?!

More fart themed plates for your enjoyment here: Fortunately... But Unfortunately..., Now Running on Natural Gas, and Silent, But Deadly.

Things You Don't Yell In The Middle Of Church

Donna F. sent in 6SIX6 (666). This is on Virginia's Harley Owners Group plate. In addition to being the sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel, it's also most famously know for being the Number of the Beast.

Note to self: Satan drives a Mustang.

Why not finish an evil themed post with a wicked laugh? MWAHAHA comes to us from Georgina S. Doesn't it look like that little bird to the left of the phrase is tweeting that?

Speaking of tweets. Check ours out. We think they're sweet.

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever

Just so you know, there are several definitions for the word Hummer, one of which is this massive piece of gas guzzling metal from General Motors. The other definition that comes to mind is, um, well, just go to our friends at the Urban Dictionary and find out for yourselves. Don't say you weren't warned [GINORMOUS WARNING!]. After reading that you would have to assume that at least a few of these people know the alternate definition...

The above plate UWANT1 (You want one) is from MooseNuggette. Our first from Alaska!

GIVEMEA (Give me a... Hummer) is from Jean (Amazingly, also from Alaska). She writes: Some people never grow up. Yes, some people are just cleverly disguised as adults.

Amanda T. sent in this next picture. Yes, that says LV HUMR. (Love Hummers?).

TMI, people. TMI.

Please keep your tops on

& TOPLSS comes to us from Kolleen.

The plate holder reads, "I'D RATHER BE DANCING." Get it...? I'd rather be dancing and topless.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

I understand this is probably a convertible Saab and the driver is just trying to be cute, but unfortunately the rest of the world just thinks your a stripper. Let the eye rolling begin!

Jesus knows a lot about drilling

JP sent us WWJD 316 (What Would Jesus Do? John 3:16?). He writes: I especially like the contrast between WWJD and the "drill here, drill now, pay less" sticker in the window. Is that what JWD? The plate frame also adds to the richness of the picture... PS - Driving in the NYC metro area I never in a million years thought I would see a Jesus plate on the road. I didn't think it fit the demographics of the area. Wrong again!

Click the photo to get a larger view of the sticker/plate holder. The license plate frame reads, HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION? GOD ALLOWS U-TURNS. Hmm, and here I thought U-turns were only legal in Michigan... or when Tom Tom says so.

For more Jesus plates, see Lovin' the Lord.

Honey, it's not PMS. It's you.

I H8 PMS (I hate PMS) was captured by Katie O. What do you get when you combine PMS with GPS? A crazy woman who WILL find you.

CZILLA is from Larisa S. The license plate holder reads, I HAVE PMS AND A HANDGUN. Awesome. There is nothing like the trifecta of crazy women, handguns, and vanity plates. Also, the thought of a pre-menstrual, fire breathing, Godzilla-like monster is scaring me, just like BUTZILA did a month ago.

Who are these women who are having PMS 24-7? I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's impossible. Sounds to me like PMS is more along the lines of meaning Princess Making a Scene.

Short and Curlies

PEWB (uh, does that say pube??!). I apologize for the quality of this photo, but I just have to post this plate. Mainly to warn drivers that your nickname might be slang for something repulsive, like those tiny, dark hairs all over your bathroom floor, so it's best to keep names off vanity plates. I guess this could also stand for something else, but the majority of people are probably sitting behind this driver in traffic trying keep their lunch from coming back up.

See also Warning: Your Nickname Might Be Slang For "Crotch".

This plate was captured by Dan over at Daily Gif Blog.

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what state this plate is from. Thanks!

Your son Rip is on line toot

KSMYGAS (Kiss my gas). The license plate holder says, "My Car $tarve$ Terrorits. Does Yours?" Whaaaat?

I think using dollar signs to replace S's is your first strike. Your second strike is using capital letters throughout a sentence. Your third strike is simply, OMG you're an idiot.

Please don't get me wrong. I am all for conserving energy, hybrid vehicles, cash for clunkers, and all of that good stuff. Yes, traditional cars cause smog, but hybrid cars cause smug, and in our opinion that is way worse.

I'd like to buy a vowel, for the children of Maine

CUTKIDS (Cut kids?!) comes to us from Heather A. I can see the dialog at the Maine DMV now...

Driver: I want the plate to say CUTEKIDS. I want everyone to know that I have cute kids, and that makes me awesome.
DMV worker: Ma'am, if you would like the exclusive bird and pine cone "Vacationland" plate you can only have 7 characters on your plate.
Driver: Uh, okay. There must be an expendable vowel here somewhere. Let's see. How about that E.
DMV worker: Whatever you say. [mutters under breath] Idiots.

Eminem goes to Cape Cod

SHADY comes to us from Five Tomatoes.

Yes, there is nothing like promoting the fact that you are, indeed, creepy. Shady, according to the dictionary, means of dubious character; rather disreputable. I just hope this driver isn't a school bus driver. I am also enjoying the Massachusetts plate slogan, The Spirit of America, because nothing says America more to me than shady creepers with vanity plates.

Extreme gas guzzling arrogance

2HUMMBL (Too Humble) is from platty.

Humble, according to the dictionary is anything marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful. Yes, nothing makes me feel more humble than 10 MPG or the ability to crush anything that gets in my way. I also enjoy running over economy cars, doubling my carbon emissions, and generally compensating for my small, uh, "brain."

Because religion and vanity go hand in hand

PRZ 2 GOD (Praise to God) was snapped for Lovin' the Lord Sunday by Lexi. The use of "Z" to mean "-aise" is a little nauseating.

Rhys sent in GR8GOD (Great God). She writes:

Just yesterday, I bought myself a spiffy new camera to carry around with me, and today what do I see on my way home from work but a Scion lovin' the lord! If I were a religious woman, I'd think it was a sign.

What is up with the -2? Religious math problem? Great God minus two = ??