I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack.

NICERAQ (nice rack) is from Jenny D.

For some reason I highly doubt this person is into coat racks, gun racks, bike racks, or antlers. The phrase "nice rack," as we all know, usually refers to boobies, which is not creepy at all, is it ladies?

Between the F and the H spot

Matt sent us this plate from across the ocean, G 5POT. That 5 is supposed to represent an "S" which makes this "G SPOT." He writes:

In England, vanity plates (or as we call them, personalised number plates- I know, not quite as snappy) aren't very common and are usually pretty terrible. But for me, this one I saw during a visit to London just hit the spot.

Proof that it does exist, at least as a license plate.

Well, Virginia is for lovers.

Had to share GLRY HOL (Glory Hole) with you from the FailBlog. I am guessing that this person doesn't know what that is slang for, do they? Or hell, they probably do.... This is Virginia we are talking about! Huzzah!!

Honest Compensation Win

This one comes to us from the FailBlog and I just had to share. This Corvette's vanity plate reads: 3 INCHES.

At least he's being honest. Either that, or he has a really funny wife.

I see you are playing stupid. It looks like you are winning.

Jerod P. pointed me over to a wonderful site called "Bad Parking" and look what little gem I found (photo credit to Ryan). Let's zoom in, shall we?

That says COMPACT, as in "a small and economical car." I'm pretty sure this monstrosity is the exact opposite. Just look at the size of this thing compared to the car behind it.

Dude, just because you have one, doesn't mean you need to act like one.

Did you get two CDs?

CDZ NUTS ("See deez nuts," or "See these nuts") is from an anonymous submitter. I had to go to the Urban Dictionary for this one but it seems this is a legit phrase, at least by urban dictionary standards. And I apologize for the punctuation. It seems as though anyone can edit the UB as they see fit:

A joke that originated from the song "Deeez Nuuuts" on Dr. Dre's original album "The Chronic", released in 1992. Since then, the phrase has mutated into "deez nutz..." The game works as following: you ask someone a question, and if the response is "What?", "Who?", "Huh?" or anything starting starting with one of the 5 "W's", you're free to get that person with "DEEEEEZ NUUUUUTZ!!!". Works best when done loudly in quiet public places such as a lecture hall, church, or a line at the bank.

Boys are so weird. I wonder if they have an accessory on their car similar to this?

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an...

I'd like to thank LadyStyx for sending me this plate she found via the FAIL blog. Why yes, that does read, BUTTHOLE.

More parking available in the rear.

Do I really want to be a macho man?

ELMACHO (El macho) is from Tim B. "Macho," from the Spanish word "machismo," is prominently exhibited or excessive masculinity;

Prominently exhibited, excessively swinging balls, for example.

Okay, we get it. Now we are going to pull over to barf in a trashcan.

She's got more crabs than a Red Lobster

Nice parking job! Let's zoom on that plate a little, shall we?

Great. Now I can personalize my comment: Nice parking job, FLOOZI. According to Mariam-Webster, a floozy is a usually young woman of loose morals.

Amanda C. writes: Yeah, at first I figured some high-maintenance women drove this car. But then, a high-maintenance MAN walks over from the adjacent Qdoba and gets in. Then jumps the curb on the way out of the parking lot. All around classy.

I love it. Some people will do anything for a burrito.

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs? In his hog cabin!

Patricia B. sent us this HOGASM. She writes:

When I saw this plate, it made me almost barfgasm. Also, depending on the spacing of the letters in your mind... I mean, dang, when did the Kentucky DOT hire someone from Virginia to check the license plates??

Oooh Virginia burn! And yes, I think this is the combination of "hog" and, well, you get the picture, don't you?

Is that some sort of handshake?

Jasmine sent in today's plate: KAMLTOW. She writes: All the VA plates are starting to embarrass me. I saw this in front of an art gallery by the ODU campus. Very classy? I think so.

I asked an older co-worker what she thought this meant and her response was this: Camel Toe? Is that some sort of handshake?

No. Actually, Cameltoe is a slang term that refers to the outline of the female [hay-nanny-nanny] seen through tight clothes. Male organs showing through clothes at the crotch may be called moose knuckle.

Moose knuckle?! Ha! You learn something new everyday. Thanks, Wikipedia!

I brake for NOTHING!

Tim sent in KYLNSHT. I'm pretty sure this is a Jeep (that he owns?), and, surprisingly, it has a plate that doesn't reference the fact that it's a Jeep. Does that say Killin' Sh*t?! I mean I've stared at this for about an hour and that's all I am coming up with. I'm impressed this got past the rigorous screeners at the South Carolina DMV. I also have a Facebook group you might be interested in, Timothy.

Our other South Carolina catches leave something to be desired.

Favorite #2: That's a funny spelling of Virginia!

This is a favorite because of what happened in the comments. Take a look.

I just puked a little.

From the FAIL Blog. Happy Saturday everyone!

Just wrong.

MKSUCM is from, well, read the e-mail:

NO! It can't mean THAT!! Who would put such a thing on their car? Of course, it is on a Cadillac Escalade and Cadillac drivers often seem to have an over-inflated self-image, but, still....NO! I refuse to believe it! someone help me out here!

Keith "now I have to wash my eyes out with bleach" S.

Someone help me too, because I do not want to interpret this plate for those that aren't getting where this misinterpretation is going (and I hope that is what this is, a misinterpretation). Esh, Virginia. For shame!

I'm not 18, I'm only $17.99

OVER 18 -- Now, as far as I can tell, this can either be (1) a want ad, or (2) a proclamation regarding the driver's age. Convenient for us, however, because both of those interpretations are equally, mind-numbingly creepy.

(Thanks to Jody A.'s friend who hath given us permission to post their find.)

Sounds like a drunk clown

Kristy S. sent us BOOZIE. What is it with people just begging to get pulled over? Maybe Boozie is this driver's nickname? Unfortunately, if it is, the rest of us just think you're a drunk... Driving a car... FAIL.

Time Saver For Delinquents

Alison B. sent in this lovely vanity plate (sorry for the blurriness, this one was just too funny). It reads HIOFCER which, if you need the interpretation, is "Hi, officer!" (Could be "High Officer" too, but that just opens up another can of worms, doesn't it?)

She writes: I love the 'taunting' tone of this plate...

Do you really get pulled over so frequently that you need to say your greeting on a vanity plate? Jeez, I'd hate to see this driver's ticket history.

Better than the whole one I guess

Kelly M. shared this photo with us, HALFAZN (Half-Assin'?). To "half ass" something means to do a job poorly, at say, 50% the quality it should have been done. Glad this driver isn't ashamed to be so up front about it. Kelly also included this photo of this driver's rear-view mirror decoration:
Well, to that I say spell out I-H-O-P and then say "ness."

Happy New Year my platerazzi!

It happens.

Laura P. captured this HLP gem, SHT. That's right. Go ahead and put your imaginary "I" in there. She writes:

"SHT"? And how did this get through screening?

I don't know. I imagine that the response of most drivers when they see this is something like: You have got to be shtting me!