wanker

Danielle from Small Town Police Blotters (hilarious blog, btw) sent in RUB1OUT. Does that really say RUB ONE OUT? Really? On a license plate?? Sigh.

She writes: Seen in a walmart parking lot. Despite being a Minnesota tag, the car was spotted in southeastern S. Dakota... I wonder if this is an attempt to explain away the driver's habit for distractedly weaving & drifting across lanes? Furthermore, I wonder how this got past the license plate censors, especially in wholesome ol' Minnesota. lol.

I keep trying to convince myself they are big fans of Disney's Aladdin and are trying to get Robin Williams to pop out of a lamp. Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

More like "Unoriginal Rock"

Carm the Crazy Cat Lady sent in this picture today and I think it's totally great because I often refer to the plates on this site as real gems, but now we have an actual vanity plate claiming just that. Too bad it's the exact opposite of a real gem. It does, however, make me want to play Bejeweled-- I blast those jewels in my sleep, yo. (If you've never played that game I warn you, it can be quite addicting!)

And while we are talking about all things shiny and geological...

IRSHJWL (Irish Jewel) comes to us from Jen H. She writes: Hmmmm... someone actually thinks they're special!

Special like a snowflake (definition 2).

You know, that car

Amanda sent in THAT CAR to us, and immediately upon it's arrival I spit the contents of my mouth all over the laptop screen. It's *that* car. Let's zoom out, shall we?


There, that is better. Now you can see the bullet holes in the doll heads stacked on the roof. [wtf?]


You know, that car that has all those skeletons hanging from the front bumper...?
... that car that has flaming headlights? A Shrek doll hook ornament? And is that a bobble head?
... that car with shells super glued to the hood?
... that car that is making ever child in this photo clutch their mothers, scared and confused?
... that car with all the DISMEMBERED BABY DOLLS?


Yes, that one.


A car like this doesn't need a vanity plate, it needs a lobotomy for it's owner.

Cranial rectal inversion

Ben B. snapped this photo of BUTTHED (I am also trying to figure out what shadow puppet you are displaying to the left there). I am assuming this means butt head, but for the life of me, I can't possibly think of why you'd want that on a license plate. I would guess that this driver is a fan of the show "Beavis and Butt-head" on MTV circa 1994. Uhhhhh... huh, heh, heh, heh. Or they actually have a butt for a head, in which case, awesome! I hope that butt has eyes!

NO VANITY: Violators will be towed

This is one of those plates that makes you want to scream, doesn't it? I mean, who do these people think they are? DONT TOW, really?! Reading this plate makes me wish you were towed that much more. You spent extra money on a vanity plate to say this? Maybe we'll spend some extra money to watch your Scion get towed. BRING ME MY POPCORN.

Pic was snapped by Heather A.!

I did nothing today and still got paid

Happy Labor Day! I wish you a day full of non-labor and cold beverages!

For those of you who are missing work, I bring you these appropriatly themed vanity plates. ALL WORK is from LadyStyx (watch out Virginia, she'll get you). This plate reminds me of the phrase, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Wasn't that a line in the Shining? Creepy...


Diona sent in WRK PAYS (Work Pays). This is one of those plates that makes you want to scream DUH as you pass this driver, doesn't it? File this plate under "LAME".

Or you can take this Alaskan approach to working: I QUIT. This vanity plate was captured by MooseNuggette.


Yeah, all this "contibuting to society" stuff makes me tired.

Previously, On His Way To Run Over Some Democrats.

Holy, holy, holy, rollin'

Platty sent us HOLYRLN, which I assume means holy rollin'. I have to admit, this ride is pretty heavenly, but seriously dude, don't ruin it with a vanity plate.

On a completely unrelated note: Are you on facebook? We'd love to be your friend, pretty please?

Proof that smart people don't drive smart cars

Ah, the smart car. It's amazing that you can fit all of that ego into such a tiny vehicle! Matt B. sent in GUD 4GAS (Good for gas?). He writes: Apparently the new smart cars run on something called 'gud' ?

Crazy Cat Lady Carm sent in BEE SMRT (Be Smart). I am guessing that this driver chose that because his car looks like a bee. And maybe he likes to give unsolicited advice.

Sara sent in SMRT 1. I'm so clever sometimes I don't understand a word of what I'm saying. I just love being *so* smart.

Previous "smart" finds:

What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaay!

Today's Secret Word Is "Creepy"

Riding in this car may result in fresher breath

Quiet, please!

Sounds like a sexy hamburger

If you haven't seen the movie Superbad, these plates probably don't mean much to you (unless you really love John McCain or McDonalds). In the movie, under aged Fogell (or McLovin) gets a fake ID in order to buy alcohol for a party and this hilarious dialog takes place:


Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there. Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.

These would be even better if they were from Hawaii, eh?

Photo cred:
MooseNuggette - MKLOVN
Chris J. - MCLOVIN

Cry me a river... And then drown yourself in it.

From the Urban Dictionary—

Bitch please: Expresses incredulous disgust, usually in reaction to a statement that is incredible, false, or otherwise outrageous. Used when someone/tool makes a stupid comment, or just as a fun way of saying no.

LadyStyx had another fun interpretation of this plate: I ~think~ this is supposed to be biatch, please... however it's missing a letter and it looks like the b-och has a dropped bladder. Maybe that WASN'T her car leaking in front of us?

Yeah, that bitch pees.

Poison? No silly, this is just pirate juice.

Kate sent in STRICK 9. She writes: Apparently this is some type of poison. Actually, it is.

Strychnine is a very toxic, colorless crystalline alkaloid used as a pesticide, particularly for killing small vertebrates such as birds and rodents. Strychnine causes muscular convulsions and eventually death through asphyxia or sheer exhaustion.

So pleasant. I bet you have lots of friends.

This plate is either corny or nutty. I can't decide.

Dear readers,
Just in case you didn't get enough POOP yesterday, Jess sent in O POOP for our viewing pleasure. She writes:

When I saw this car pull into the parking lot, I immediately began to plan my covert picture taking mission! Who puts this on a licence plate?!

Answer: Someone who wants you to know that it's okay to call them a TURD if they cut you off in traffic.

If you would like even more poop please see previously:
Smooth Move
Metamucil... It keeps me regular.

Sincerely,
The Coalition to Keep Poop off America's License Plates