Hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt.

MooseNuggette, our one platerazzo in Alaska, has graciously sent us this fine Friday specimen: MS PMS-- as in Ms. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. Really? Do we need to be talking about our periods and mood swings via our vehicles? I guess we do.

And I wonder why she's not MRS PMS? Heh.

I'll be back

HUMMN8R, I assume, is this driver's attempt to combine the word "Hummer" with "Terminator." Not only do you drive one of the most, if not thee most, obnoxious vehicles on the road, but you've named it one of the most annoying names ever. Congratulations.

(Thanks for sending us this cyborg gem, Jessica B.!)

Better late than a vanity plate

Chiari L. sent us ALWYSL8 (always late). I'm not sure why anyone would want a license plate with this plastered on it, but thanks for the warning, I guess.

Lexi sent us I R LATE (I are late?). I are don't know grammar very good. Glad they didn't resort to using "L8" at least.

Rachel R. sent us IM LATE. Nice excuse, but I would guess this doesn't really work with law enforcement.DNTBL8 comes to us from MooseNuggette. Uh, thanks for the warning? Although my warning to this driver would be: Don't be a douche.

Small State = Big Tools

TOOL comes to us from Jess. She writes:

Why would anyone want to drive around with TOOL as their license plate?

I have no clue. Maybe they are big fans of the band Tool? I, however, image that this guy is a "tool," meaning:

One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used. A fool. A cretin. Characterized by low intelligence and/or self esteem.

Uh, what a tool.

My water broke! Oh wait... That's just antifreeze.

Ah, BIRTH. What is it about that process that makes you want to get a vanity plate of such an event? Is it the pooping in front of strangers? Is it showing your hey-nanny-nanny to a room full of spectators? Is it the pain!? Is it the (*shudder*) PLACENTA!!?

It's the poop, isn't it?

(BABY probably would have been a better choice, eh? Thanks, Alison B.)

Would you buy my fish?

Kerstyne sent us this gem, S3LFISH. Once again, drivers are passing 3s off as Es making this plate: SELFISH. I am guessing this driver means "placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others." I am not surprised, however, this is a vanity plate.

I guess he could also sell fish, but I kind of doubt that.

Drive it like you eat your German fruitcake!

Take it away Keith S.:

Ha ha so very funny and clever; stolen. You mean "drive it like you stole it" or something like that? OR perhaps you are declaring your fondness for the fruitcake like bread known as stolen?

I really hope this driver had the audacity to steal a Lexus, pay extra to get a plate that says so, and donates regularly to the F.O.P. (see the license plate tag?). Oh Virginia, you never cease to amaze us.

I'm not 18, I'm only $17.99

OVER 18 -- Now, as far as I can tell, this can either be (1) a want ad, or (2) a proclamation regarding the driver's age. Convenient for us, however, because both of those interpretations are equally, mind-numbingly creepy.

(Thanks to Jody A.'s friend who hath given us permission to post their find.)

Episode I: The Vanity Menace

Today's set of plates is a continuation of yesterday's Episode II: Attack of the Vain. Let the action figure collecting begin!
R2D2JJ is from Kerstyne. Beep-beep-bloop-bzzz *head turn.
MooseNuggette sent in C3PO, which she also points out could be OPEC backwards (creepy how that works).
Amanda sent in our last plate of this series, HAN SOLO. She writes: My husband spotted this one and said I had to take a picture and send it in. He laughed that this plate would have been even better on a Ford Falcon.

I can only hope there was a wookiee in the passenger seat.

Episode II: Attack of the Vain

I had a request to post some of my favorite Star Wars finds. I am doing this not because they are necessarily horrible, just extremely geeky. This series will be in two parts, Episodes I & II. I am releasing episode II before I, however, because I am Mrs. HLP, princess of the Plate Rage People (and I do want I want).
Laura P. sent in our first plate: RUJEDI2. She writes:

This one took me a minute. I finally figured out it said "Are you Jedi too." .... but we're in Idaho. I thought we raised master pitchfork wielders, not light saber wielders!
That's QUI-GON Jinn to you! Just need to work on your aim.

Probably on the way to his mom's house (Oh and I have her plate too. See: Luke... hhhhh... I am Your Mother). May the Force guide you out of my lane, Sir! (JEDI plate is from Jason G.)

Heros in a half shell

There are occasional vanity plates I find myself getting pumped about. This happens to be one of them. TRTLPWR (Turtle power!) is the force that inevitably comes with being a pizza-hungry super mutated reptile who fights crime. I'm talking, of course, about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a staple of my childhood. The TMNTs also spawned this great song from Vanilla Ice: Go ninja, go ninja, go! Oh, the 90s.

Cowabunga, Laura P.

Here I am. Now what are you other 2 wishes?

ILUVME is from Lori A. She gives us a little more insight into the driver of this narcissist-mobile: This snazzy little two-seater convertible was parked in the visitor spot at my work... In addition to my company, who almost never gets visitors, this building has financial services and a bunch of lawyers. Guesses as to who we're dealing with here?
SBOUTME (It's about me) is from Heidi. Her reaction was the same as mine: Self-absorbed, much?
Our last plate today comes from Jessica B., IM2MUCH (I'm too much).

Why yes, you certainly are.

I guess there is a reason they call them vanity plates, eh?

Don't I look too young to be a grandma?

Elaine M. writes to us:

My friend spotted this in a handicapped space. Yes, it says "foxy grandma".

Me-ow. Maybe we can all get some Metamucil and vodkas later?

Lined with bacon, perhaps?

Tina in VA strikes again with this magnificent find: M3AT WGN (Meat Wagon). Let's not ignore the fact that this driver has used a 3 to represent an E, either. Tina writes:

There's just something so creepy about a plate that proclaims, "M3AT WGN".

Agreed. I think it's also super creepy because the idea of your car filled to the brim with some sort of meat is kind of shocking to most people.

Is a meat filled car not creepy enough for you? There is also the alternate meaning to the word "meat."

Try some antibiotics.

ITZ SIK (It's sick) is from Keith S. From my understanding "sick" can mean one of many things including, but not limited to:

1. Not in the greatest of health
2. Really awesome
3. What I am on the Monday after Super Bowl.

(Four exhaust pipes?! Really?!?! Arrrgghhh!!)

For some crude, adult language and a drug reference

Keith S. sent us R8ED PG (Rated PG). I assume this refers to the motion picture rating, PG. From wikipedia:

Parental Guidance Suggested - Some material may not be suitable for children under 10. These films may contain some mild language, brief smoking, crude/suggestive humor, scary moments and/or violence. No drug content is present. There are a few exceptions to this rule. A few racial insults may also be heard.

No getting to third base in that car, eh?

It's so delicious

Today's plate MMREHAB comes to us from Chiari L. I'm sure this is some employee from a place called MM Rehab, but doesn't it look like they are salivating over rehabilitation? Chiari seems to agree:

I have no clue... mmm rehab? M&Ms rehab? Mickey Mouse rehab?

M&Ms rehab!? I, um, don't need that. I can quit at any time. I swear.

A good fun alternative to life

I(heart)MYWOW comes to us from Heidi. She writes:

As in World of Warcraft, which is made obvious by the plate frame (and the decals). Strangely, this car was not parked in his (or her) mama's driveway. It was at our military commissary, and is nearly every time I go there, which leads me to believe that this person is, in fact, employed.

Ha, these WoW gamers really have a reputation.
Here's another WoW plate, PEWPEW. This one comes to us from MooseNuggette. According to the Urban Dictionary, "Pew Pew" means:

1. Sound made by lasers, usually related to star wars.
2. Owning a person, usually related to world of warcraft

Or, it's the sound of my lasers, piercing burning holes into your tires.

No. Really.

Tina M. found us another gem from Virginia, RLY CRZY (Really crazy). She writes:

I looked around very carefully before taking a picture of this plate, just to make sure the owner was nowhere in sight. I'm not sure whether it's a point of pride or a warning, but I wasn't taking any chances.

That's my platerazzi: doing whatever it takes to get the shot, even the midst of crazies. You guys are awesome.

Get 'er done

Not the greatest vanity plate in the world, but I will still present to you GOTIT DN (Got it done?) from Jenna Lee A. The reason I posted this, however, is to warn you that you should never, ever put the word TIT on your license plate. People are going to go there (Go Tit Dan?). Actually, they just did.

Got 'er did, Tit Dan.