Beer is the answer, but I can't remember the question.

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Ah yes, another gem from the Fail Blog that I must share with you. I can't tell what state this plate is from, but how in the world does a vanity plate like this approved? I guess I've been trying to answer that question from the start of this blog, but DRUNK? Really? I guess if you are stupid enough to get a plate like this you deserve all of the obvious consequences, like hopping on one foot while stating the alphabet backwards.

Ossiffer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God.

I don't own a toothbrush

NASTY-V comes to us from Cassie. I have a couple of thoughts on what "V" could stand for. I think you probably have some thoughts too. I also found an entry in the Urban Dictionary for "Nasty V," but I don't know if I'm entirely comfortable with linking to it, so go there and search it for yourself. (Warning! Not for the children!!)

Nasty, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is something described as disgustingly filthy or physically repugnant. Sounds like a great idea for a vanity plate. Thanks for sharing, NASTY-V!

I sneak up on people

I've had several requests to bash hybrid vanity plates. For those of you who have emailed me, consider this post your dream come true. You're welcome.


These first two plates come from Jen G. 7T MPG (Seven Tee Miles Per Gallon... Seventy Miles Per Gallon). The plate holder says I NEED MY SPACE. Yes, for all that smug you carry around.
IH8 GAS (I hate gas). Wait a second, haven't I seen this before? I have (see Silent But Deadly), except now you love zombies. Fantastic. You know you have a bad plate when two separate people send it to the same website. Also, here is a suggestion for the driver: Try Beano.58MPG is from Amanda J. She writes: I can understand the excitement of having to get gas about half as many times as normal, but exactly how excited do you have to be to do this?HYB1RD. Unfortunately, this looks like High Bird, no? LadyStyx, who sent in this picture, seems to agree. She writes: So, what, Big Bird got into Snuffy's main stash?

Congratulations to this driver for botching the word hybrid completely.

Originality. Priceless.

How unique are you if everyone else is doing the same exact thing? Well, I shouldn't say the exact same thing... vanity plates wouldn't be vanity plates without their creative interpretations and blatant misspellings. B UNEAK (Be unique) is from Meg G.

Yes, be unique, just like everybody else.

Jennifer D. sent us UN1QUE. Yes, we get it. The "1" is an "I" so.very.unique. Actually, we've seen this techn1que before.

Karl M. sent in YOU-NEEK with this accompanying joke: How do you catch a unique rabbit? You neek up on him!

One of the first submissions to our site was very UNEEK. Check it out!

Giggity-giggty-goo

GIGGITY was sent in by Amanda L. For those of you who aren't Family Guy fans, this is the signature statement of the hypersexual character Glenn Quagmire when he refers to The Deed, usually stated with something like, "Soccer moms!? Alll right! GIGGITY, GIGGITY, GIGGITY!" Here he is telling a scary story. Quagmire is obsessed with Lois, feet, and underage women.

I mean, who wouldn't want to associate themselves with Spooner Street's resident perv?

I don't think they mean vagabonds

I LV VAG was snapped and sent in by Laura. She writes:

I was on my way to a friend's wedding yesterday and spotted this gem... I was able to grab a quick photo before the light changed; it's times like this that I'm glad that I always have my camera on me.

Since we are celebrating women parts (I guess?) you can see other Virginia vagina vanity plates here and here, and don't forget about the BQQBS.

For a limited amount of time, you pay NO SHIPPING!

It's Sunday, and you know what that means! Vanity of the religious kind! Let's get this party started, shall we? Today's plate comes to us from Squidrox, TRY JC (Try JC, JC= Jesus Christ?).

Well, as the great Yoda once said: Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

Do visit us on Twitter, you will.

Because we're too cool to say "legitimate"

So I guess there are at least 2 MC Hammer fans out there bold enough to state so on their license plates (see previously: E=MC (Hammer)). Amanda sent in 2 LEGIT. For those of you who need the explanation, Too Legit To Quit was the smash hit by MC Hammer, or just "Hammer" as he was called at the time.

Take a trip back to 1991 with me and see the awesome video here, and some hilariously inspired hand movements here with Andy Samberg.

HOW COULD I MISS YOU?

PENNR was spotted by Crazy Cat Lady, Carm. I think this is our first motorcycle plate— Creepiness in 6 characters or less. Carm writes:

Penners is a name for ornamental game birds???
Or was he a jail bird? as in Penitentiary...
Or perhaps he does Calligraphy?

And we mustn't forget this man's highlighter yellow shirt: CAN YOU SEE ME NOW ASSHOLE? I mean, really? Must you assume everyone who drives a car is a blind jerkface? Not all of us drive obnoxious urban assault vehicles. I think that attitude makes you the asshole, sir.

When I grow up, I want to be a Disney Princess

CYNDRLA (Cinderella?) was sent in by J.D. I just love (*cringes teeth*) when people add those custom text signs to their plates. The text at the bottom of the plate reads: All you really need is the right pair of shoes.

It looks to me like this vanity plate holder was modified, doesn't it? Like they ripped off the top part of the holder and screwed it on to the bottom? I think Arizona just passed a law that prohibits drivers from covering up the ARIZONA on the plate, so this makes some sense I guess. Thinking that you are Cinderella and that shoes will give you some sort of power, however? This doesn't make any sense at all.

Save your breath— you'll need it to blow up your date

Tina M. spotted this chick magnet from Virginia. She writes: ... then I saw JRKFACE and just had to pull into a parking lot to get a picture of it. If you're a jerkface, why would you want to advertise it??

Maybe because you have a beautiful jerk face? Maybe it twitches? Ladies? Any takers...?

*crickets*

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Car Decals

Manners From A 2 Year Old

Amanda S. (platerazzo who snapped this photo of TOOOT) writes:

What do you say when you toot? (I ask my 2 year old)
'Scuse me! (Her reply)

Why yes, we have received a plate that says exactly that: XCUSEME (Excuse me). This photo was taken by Corianne. I'm not sure it was because this driver let out a toot of their own either. She writes: Hi, I found this one near my house. It makes sense that his plate should say "Xcuseme," because he drove like an idiot.

More fart themed plates for your enjoyment here: Fortunately... But Unfortunately..., Now Running on Natural Gas, and Silent, But Deadly.