The age old question: Submissive Woman or Lovin' the Lord?

What do you think? Submissive woman or Lovin' the Lord? And really, should you be bragging about this sort of thing? I am assuming HIM is Jesus, or your husband, but it could also be "the man", Dr. Oz, Ron Popeil, or Patrick Dempsey. Maybe it's the devil? WHO FN KNOWS.

Just another example of why vanity plates suck the big one. Thanks Heather B. for your wonderful contribution for Lovin' the Lord Sunday.

Dude...

Now that we've all mostly recovered from Black Friday, let's settle back, relax, and listen to a little Phish (not to be confused with FEEESH). Who is Phish, you ask? According to Wikipedia: Phish is an American jam band noted for their musical improvisation, extended jam sessions, and cult following. Or "granola rock" as I like to call it. Thanks for sending in this photo Amanda T.

I am just impressed that you managed to get something resembling a marijuana plant on your license plate. Does this picture seem a bit smokey to you? A little blurry? *cough, cough* Uh, what were we talking about? Who wants to get me some Cheetos?

Perhaps every parent needs one for their child before trips to the shopping mall

Here is another great example of why you should never abbreviate words on license plates OR use nicknames that you haven't done proper research on. Thanks to Arlynn for snapping this lovely photo.

The obvious interpretation here is "Lucky Lizard." My curious self typed this into Google to see what I could come up with, and lo and behold, I discovered this extremely bizarre item: Kids Lucky Lizard Pendant For Discipline Control. What is even more disturbing is the description of this item which I must share with you (poor grammar, random capitalization, double quotation marks, and all. The horror!):

Wow! The Lucky LIZARD Gemstone Carving as Pendant. This Pendant will be Perfect and Fun Accessory for your Child, and the Same time will Provide Natural Protective Qualities to your Loved One. This Pendant will Influence DISCIPLINE CONTROL Powers towards your Child, as TIGER EYE Stone is the Best Stone for this Purpose. A LIZARD is a Small Version of Dragon, which we all heard about from our Grandma tales. It is a Symbol of Long life, fertility and wisdom. For Centuries it was believed that Dragon Amulet will Protect from Evil Spirits. TIGER EYE NATURAL POWERS for KIDS A ""Grounding Stone"". Tiger's Eye contains the gentle grounding energy of Earth. This stone is good in helping to influence the children when you really need to get them to understand something. It enhances integrity, willpower, practicality and correct use of power. Tiger's Eye is excellent for grounding psychic energy and providing security for opening up the psychic centers. It helps Children to obtain goals by taking direct action and by knowing when to act or wait. Sometimes children get carried away and get lost in their dream world. Tiger Eye helps to pull them back into their bodies (after astral travel). Perhaps every parent needs one for their child before trips to the shopping mall.

I've ordered 10 already.

The second interpretation could be LK Y LZRD, which I see as "Lick Your Lizard." Bleh!

This vanity plate is wrong in so many ways. Do your reasearch people!

Gobble Gobble

Hey Internets,

We just wanted to drop in and say thank you on this day of Thanksgiving. We really cannot tell you how excited we are that you read this website. You comment. You subscribe. You share posts with your friends. We even have like 457 new friends in our facebook group and 983 followers. Okay, a little less than that, but we are so grateful for each and everyone of you, and all the morons who think vanity plates are a good idea. So this Thanksgiving we just want to tell you how awesome you are. KTHXBYE.

Now, let's go stuff our faces!

Love,
Mr. and Ms. HLP

Warning, Your Nickname Might Be Slang for "Crotch"

POOTIR: A kid that is full of gas and farts all the time - Urban Dictionary.

This is a stretch, but maybe you were going for the word "pooter?" I know that's what I saw when I first glanced at this plate. But isn't that a va-jay-jay? You know, your hoo-ha? Or is it Kentucky slang for a computer? Who knows!

You should probably do a little research the next time you apply for a vanity plate. Just sayin'.

Thanks Mark for your wonderful contribution to our blog. Now make it viral!

Nothing a shot of vodka and a Xanax won't fix

Maybe you should hop on the HAPY BUS, IM SAD? I took this picture at the local Wal-Mart. There was a woman trying to pry a small screaming child out of his carseat from this vehicle. Plus, this wasn't a bus at all, it was a van. Nothing about this situation screamed happy.

Our good friends at Urban Dictionary define Happy Bus as:

People who are particularly drunk or wasted on drugs.
"Those people over there are definitely on the happy bus."

So that might explain things.

Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

There seem to be a lot of moody women on the road. Sometimes I see plates like this and I just want to pull these people over and shake them. Is that so wrong? Does anyone else just want to shake drivers with vanity plates? Hhhhhh! It might be PMS ma'am, but it's a really stupid idea for a vanity plate. IT'S PMS = Hey everyone, I'm a perpetual crazy woman!

Simone, the wonderful reader who sent in this photo, found this license plate in the parking lot of a Kleenex factory. How appropriate.

Would You Like a Popsicle?

Interesting choice in plates, PERV. This is completely disturbing. You managed to do creepiness in 4 characters, which I believe is the all time record. I would give you a high five, but I am afraid you might try and cop a feel. It wouldn't surprise me if this guy has the words "free candy" spray painted on the side of his car. Who wants to take a ride? Ladies?

And for the obligatory You Tube video: Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy singing "I Know What Boys Like" and a lengthy Tribute. Enjoy, paperboy!

4th Time's a Charm

I was pretty sure most of the enthusiastic vanity plate religious types were into expensive SUVs, but here is hard proof that I am wrong. This Jaguar is sporting a plate that reads ILUVGOD. Credit for this photo goes to me. I felt like a member of the plate-arazzi trying to get this shot. We drove by this car 4 times. I am sure they weren't suspicious at all.

Would you like to be a member of the plate-arazzi? Send us your submissions for Loving the Lord Sunday and other vanity plates to horriblelicenseplates[at]gmail[dot]com

Thank ya.

And then try something tastier

tTRY TOFU

Really, I respect vegetarians. I wish I could eliminate meat from my diet. I don't wish, however, to be subjected to your vanity plate mind control. Thanks for the suggestion. I've tried my fair share of tofu, but think I am going to stick to my strict diet of Hawaiian Punch, donuts, and bacon for now.

This totally reminded me of my favorite song from the cartoon series Doug on Nickelodeon (circa 1993)-- The Beets "Killer Tofu."

Thanks goes to Heidi for pointing this one out.

I've seen some old drivers, but this is ridiculous

Uh, this vanity plate is actually quite scary.

I am glad the driver of this car has decided to share his charming personality with the world. You know, I usually enjoy the little things that work against or enhance a driver's vanity plate message (i.e. temporary plates for Mr. Slacker, Mr. I WORK's decal, Truck nuts for the "white horse", Ritzy Me's bumper sticker), but this decoration just adds to your unpleasantness. Maybe a more appropriate item would be a strategically placed bumper sticker to the right of this plate that says "(IN THE TRUNK)."

Thanks for sending this one in Annalee-- creepiness indeed!

Oh I Wish...

LTL LINK = Little Link

There is nothing like cruising down the highway next to a giant wiener. I found myself in that wonderful situation a couple weekends ago. Needless to say, it was very inspiring. So, I present to you the Ode to the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! Yes, it's a giant hotdog on wheels. For those of you who are confused, here is a photo of the whole wienermobile:



So after a little research I found quite a few vanity plates on this thing. Also I discovered that if you love hot dogs enough you can take the Hotdogger Oath and get paid to drive one of these babies around. Let's all sing together:

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I truly want to be. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me.

Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd never want to be. Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. There would soon be nothing left of me!

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R
Oh, I love to eat it every day, and if you ask me why, I'll say,
"'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A."

From wikipedia: A "Wienermobile" is an automobile shaped like a hot dog on a bun that is used to promote and advertise Oscar Mayer products. It was created in 1936 by Oscar's nephew, Carl G. Mayer, and variants are still used by Oscar Mayer today.

Also from wikipedia: Drivers of the Wienermobiles are known as Hotdoggers and often hand out toy whistles shaped as replicas of the Wienermobile, known as Wienerwhistles.

This thing is great. It has seating for six - in mustard and ketchup colored seats, a mustard-splattered walkway, and a removable bun roof!

Whew, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Who wants to bring me a hotdog?

(I will leave all the wiener and bun jokes to the commenters).