Seafood with Street Cred

Michelle sent in LOBSTAH (Lobster). I don't know why I think this is funny, but it is. I just imagine it's very hard to use a turn signal when your hands are gigantic claws.

Plus there is something a bit charming about that spelling, no? Makes you want to spit on your screen a little.

Episode II: Attack of the Vain

I had a request to post some of my favorite Star Wars finds. I am doing this not because they are necessarily horrible, just extremely geeky. This series will be in two parts, Episodes I & II. I am releasing episode II before I, however, because I am Mrs. HLP, princess of the Plate Rage People (and I do want I want).
Laura P. sent in our first plate: RUJEDI2. She writes:

This one took me a minute. I finally figured out it said "Are you Jedi too." .... but we're in Idaho. I thought we raised master pitchfork wielders, not light saber wielders!
That's QUI-GON Jinn to you! Just need to work on your aim.

Probably on the way to his mom's house (Oh and I have her plate too. See: Luke... hhhhh... I am Your Mother). May the Force guide you out of my lane, Sir! (JEDI plate is from Jason G.)

Arm Candy

TROFYWIF (Trophy Wife) was captured by Bonnie R. A "trophy wife" is defined as:

A young, attractive woman married to an older, more powerful man. His role in the relationship is to be her sugar daddy and provide her with power and material wealth. Hers is to remind others that he is powerful or rich enough to be desirable to such a woman despite his age and thus to serve as a marker of this status -- hence the "trophy" part. A specialized type of gold digger.

Yes, something you definitely should brag about on your car. Great work on choosing a vanity plate, dimwit.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Kara writes to us: I took this picture with my cell phone last year in Tennessee, near Gatlinburg. My husband and I couldn't figure it out, is it named after her dog? Or is she pro the death penalty? I guess we will never know.

Here's a tip for this driver: If you put the word "killer" on your vanity plate, people are going to think you are, in fact, A KILLER.

So *very* creepy.

To err is human; To arr is PIRATE

Ahoy! It's September 19, and you hopefully know what that means: International Talk Like A Pirate Day! If you don't know how to talk like a pirate, maybe some of these vanity plates can help... ARRMATEY is from Sydney J. "Arr matey" simply means, I agree my friend. Aye, aye Captain is also equivalent.

Pirates arrrr the scallywags doin' the drinking, plundering, and making people walk the plank! This plunderer made a blunder with that extra T, no? I think PIR8 would have sufficed. Ye old pirates aren't so good at spelling and grammARRR.
Melani X. clears PYRETTE up for us: So...she's like a Rockette with a peg leg and an eye patch? Now THAT'S talent!

Or maybe a wench with a nice booty. YOHOHO and a bottle of rum. Or grog as the pirates like to call it. This plate, in addition to PIR8T, were captured by LadyStyx.

As for me and Mr. HLP? We talk like pirates everyday, YARR HARR HARR!

Just for fun, Pirate Name Generator.

Fun With Misinterpretations!

One of the great things about vanity license plates is that there can be a lot of different ways of interpreting them. Many times we go back to read the comments on a post and people have discovered an even more ridiculous meaning in the plates.

So I thought, why not take this moment and do some more of that? If you have any more suggestions please feel free to comment. These first two plates come from MooseNuggette.

I assume this driver wanted "Peaches", but doesn't it really look like PEE CHEESE? I mean, the car is yellow! Cheese chunks in your urine is a sign of much bigger problems to come.

Here I think this driver was going for "trade wind" perhaps? However, all I see is TURD WIND. Silent but deadly.

David H. helps us out with this misinterpretation: I followed this guy on the way to work one morning recently and just had to take a picture. My guess is that they intended for the plate to say "Our Great Dad" but when I saw it I immediately thought "Roger Ate Dad." I couldn't stop laughing!

We're Baaaaaack!

I'm happy to announce the end of the Creepiness Classics series and to officially say, "We're back!"

Thanks for those of you who've hung with us over the last two weeks. All of your wishes to us were awesome as well. Everything is back up and running, including our Twitter feed, so tweet us the plates you see out there!

A great way to come back is with one of our oldest standing categories: Lovin' the Lord. These two come to us from Sydney J.Oh my Ga! Aren't these just a match made in heaven?
While one of our specimens chose to spell out glory correctly (thus, making it a more glorious plate), the other showed off their talent by spelling "GOD" properly. *Shakes fist into air: Damn that 8 character limit!

I'm not an English Major. I are a Scientist.

MC SQR-E (E=mc²). Triple nerd score.

I bet your bumper sticker says, "There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't." *snort laugh, snort laugh, snort laugh.

My mom still thinks I'm cool, so what's the big deal?

CAL-Q-L8 (Calculate). If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it.

Ah yes, the dreaded P-Value. Statistics class: Where fun goes to die.

Until next time, my nerds, may the F=ma be with you.

Photo credits:

MC SQR-E: LadyStyx

B1NARY: Heidi R.

CAL-Q-L8: Lauren

P-VALUE: Sydney J.

Too Fast, Too Fidgety

Here are some plates that make me second guess your ability to drive, which is always a nice feeling. Watch your back, dear readers of this blog. There are some crazies on the roads.

Example #1DEADMN: If you aren't alive, you probably should not be driving. Check his pulse. Also, your bumper sticker, "CATS NOT KIDS," is quite disturbing. Actually, with an exception to the koala, they're all a little creepy.

Example #2

FIDGET: As defined by thefreedictionary.com - to behave or move nervously or restlessly. Sounds like a great driving quality. Quick, let's swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid that roadkill.

Example #3NO YES: Yes, we all love indecisiveness, don't we? Especially on the roads. Turn left! No, right! Take exit! Decide half a second later to not take the exit! Merge back onto interstate!

Examples #4 and #5

200-MPH and LV2XLR8: Speed kills. The submitter of 200-MPH claims this is a state issued plate. She also admits that people assume this driver can get her Honda Accord up to 200 MPH. For the record, I've tried it, and it's impossible. And expensive.

Love to accelerate? *shakes head in utter disappointment.

Examples #6 and #7

ASYLUM and PSYKOTIC: Mental insanity = not an ideal driving skill! Kolleen who sent in ASYLUM writes to us:

[ASYLUM] is actually my friend's car; he has had many stupid license plates, including DRAKKAR and DRKNSS. loser!

Thanks to everyone for making this endless post possible:

DEADMN: Heidi

FIDGET: Tammy

NO YES: Poetry Sue

200-MPH: Kati K.

LV2XLR8: Joanne H.
ASYLUM: Kolleen

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

Here is a perfect example of why the plate rage fire just BURNS inside of me. Jamie P. thought this photo would be the perfect addition to the Horrible License Plates collection, and we certainly agree.

I can only imagine what this driver looks like. For some reason that scene from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me keeps running through my head. The one where Fat Bastard is rubbing his moobs saying, "I'm dead sexy. Look at my sexy body."

I did find this really funny article (copied below) on McSweeney's the other day. I think it goes perfect with today's post. WAY SEXY, this one's for you.

Modesty Plates
BY LUCAS KLAUSS

NOT2GR8
MEDIOCR
103IQ
LILFAT
DECENT
SHRUG
2NDRATE
TOLRABL
OKCOOK
VANILLA
UR2KIND
REALLY?
OSTOPIT
MIDLING
OKDOCTR
AVGBUTT
EH

Or Go Home!

From the back of the Land Rover can I get an AMEN?! I think this plate is appropriate for a Sunday. I am really impressed with this plate simply for the fact that it has an exclaimation point on it. I didn't think that was allowed but who knows whats going on in North Carolina these days. Obviously, a lot of enthusiasm for the Lord! I am curious as to what other punctuation is acceptable for personalized plates. I encourage you to go out there and find some ampersands or a winking similie ;-). Extra points for dollar $ign$.

Photo courtesy of Lynne.

Spleen Fiend

Wait a second. I am pretty sure you need a liver to LIVE, not to mention DRIVE. Your message to the world is a good one. It's just not entirely clear. Don't you think it is a little risky proclaiming your views on organ donation on your license plate? If I needed a liver (or maybe a kidney, since you already gave your liver away), I might be swerving into your lane. This photo comes courtesy of Lynne, a former resident of the stellar state of North Carolina. Thanks Lynne! Any LIVRTAKRs out there?