Thursday, December 31, 2009

It happens.

Laura P. captured this HLP gem, SHT. That's right. Go ahead and put your imaginary "I" in there. She writes:

"SHT"? And how did this get through screening?

I don't know. I imagine that the response of most drivers when they see this is something like: You have got to be shtting me!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I'm going to go with the hot dogs.

Kevin B. snapped this photo of WIEN-A. He writes:

The guy who pays 75 bucks a year for this must REALLY like hot dogs, complains A LOT, or is just a d*ck.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pollution is the solution

Heather A. sent in this environmentally conscious license plate, POLLUTE. Pollute, as in the introduction of contaminants into an environment that causes instability, disorder, harm or discomfort to the ecosystem.

So I am guessing this isn't a hybrid Jetta.

Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm a hustler baby

Lisa D. captured this lovely photo of WHORYOU, which I know is supposed to mean "Who are you?" but doesn't it look like something else (whore you)? Lisa helps out with the plausible second meaning of this plate:

...and WHORYOU? I was thankful it wasn't YOUWHOR.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

How's 7 billion sound?

April H. sent us this Lovin' the Lord Sunday gem: GOD IOU. "IOU" means "I owe you" which is a promise to pay a debt. I believe the "debt" here is this driver's vanity plate hanging off his brand new Corvette. *sigh*

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Baby, it's cold outside.

Brrr, It's Cold In Here; There Must Be Vanity In The At-mos-phere

(We'll be back Monday, don't fret)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Dances in your head

More of my slightly edited poetry. (Also from the archives)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

From the archives...


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I wouldn't touch you, with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

GR1NCH (Grinch) is from LadyStyx.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

That's a pretty nice sleigh

Melani X captured OPNSLAY (Open sleigh). See Jingle Bells.

(We took the week off, hence little commentary. See "Important Update" post below)

Monday, December 21, 2009


JOY T U (Joy to you).

Photo from Amanda.
(Why so quiet? See post "Important Update" below)

Important update!

So we are taking a week off from the site (don't worry, I've prepared some re-posts from last year and we'll still be checking in). The reason is that Mr. HLP and I are packing up and moving to a new city! Hopefully our new destination will be filled with a plethora of license plate fails, just like the state of Wisconsin was.

Enjoy this week of holiday themed plates and a few re-posts from last year. We'll be back next week! Feel free to email us your plates and stories too, however, the response will be automated, but rest assured they are secure in our inbox and ready to be used. (And I apologize in advance for the lack of non-Christmas holiday plates - I'm still waiting for my Kwanzaa submissions...)

Happy holidays from us to you,

Mr. and Mrs. HLP

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Jesus-mobile

VAN4JC (Van for Jesus Christ?) was snapped by LadyStyx. Not only are the residents of the state of Virginia crazy, they love the Lord as well.


Do you tweet? Our tweets are sweet! Check us out on twitter, and let the fun begin!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Than to receive your vanity

Smoochiefrog sends us BTR2GIV right in time for the holiday gift giving season. I assume this comes from the popular phrase, "It's better to give than to receive." It originates from the Bible, so you better get on that.

Now, go and buy me some presents.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins

'Tis the season for holiday themed vanity! Our first plate today comes from Lindsey S., 1 QT ELF (One cute elf). I would have to say that this plate is pretty relevant for the month of December, but what do you do for the other 11 months of the year?

sent in ELVSFN, which I know probably means "Elvis Fan," but you could also say it means "Elves Fan," no? Or Elves F'in...? Ho, Ho, Ho?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

You're a boob

PERKY was captured by Heather A. The dictionary defines perky as: Lively or enthusiastic; Standing upright; firm.

So as far as I am concerned this vanity plate is either describing this drivers 1) Personality, or 2) Boobies. To that I say: Enjoy them while you can, honey.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

FJ Loser

We've bashed Jeeps, Mini Coopers, PT Cruisers, Smart cars, Mustangs, and a whole bunch of others, but today it's the FJ Cruiser's turn.
These first two plates are from Brianne O. The first is FJ QTR. Is that "QTR" supposed to translate somehow to "Cruiser?" Or "cutter?" Or is is FJ Cuter? [barf]

BZ BEE (Busy bee). How creative. Your SUV is yellow and black. Bzzzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz.

Our final FJ plate is from Samantha H., KRUZAH. Saying "cruiser" that way makes me feel like punching the air out of someone. *Ninja chop!* KRUZ-AH!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Death before decaf

As much as I need a cup of caffeine right now, I would never, ever, put that thought on a vanity plate. Do you really want to be that person with the bumper sticker that reads, "I HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE TODAY... DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU?" Yeah, I didn't think so.

Our first plate is from MooseNuggette, CAFENE (Caffeine). She writes: My drug of choice.

Shannon sent in CAFN8ME (Caffeinate me). One strike for using an 8. One strike for that terrible vanity plate holder. And one strike for driving a Mini Cooper (HI-YO!). You're out.

XPRESSO is from Ben B. Yeah drink espresso... Do stupid things faster with more energy!

Our last plate is from platty, [STAR]BUCKER. Stars on vanity plates?! California, you are wild!

Now why don't you just buck on out of here with that plate, ya hear?

Monday, December 14, 2009


I love my Twitter platerazzi. Nothing satisfies me more than plate rage in real time. @annetne sent me this message a couple of days ago:

This was the attached photo: WNA SHAG (Wanna shag?). HA! I really hope this is about carpet, or catching fly balls, and not what I think it's referring to.

Virginia, you are dominating the Hall-of-Shame.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Ugh, this straight jacked is so RESTRICTIVE

Keith S. sent in KRZ 4GD (Crazy for God) for this week's Sunday Lovin' the Lord submission.

Just how crazy is this driver? Crazy enough to spell "crazy" with a "K."

Man, that is INsane.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Pessimism FTL

PESIMSM (Pessimism) never works man. The worst is yet to come. Optimism?! Like that does any good. The light at the end of the tunnel? A speeding train headed my way. My blood type? B negative. The pessimism meeting tonight? Cancelled. No one would come anyway.

So just remember, if everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

[Photo credit to Tim B.]

Friday, December 11, 2009

My mustache brings all the girls to the yard

Andi H. captured this picture of STACHE, which I assume refers to a moustache. While some facial hair can be quite dashing on a man, you have to do it right. Otherwise, you just end up looking creepy. Am I right ladies?

Regardless, I got a good chuckle out of this vanity plate. This driver must really be rocking a good one.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Looks like someone forgot to remove your probe

Ah yes, aliens... Is there a creature in this universe so misunderstood than you? Vanity plate owners, perhaps?

AREA 051 on the back of this mothership is from Sara S. Area 51 is a military base in Nevada. According to wikipedia, it's secretive nature and undoubted connection to classified aircraft research, together with reports of unusual phenomena, have led Area 51 to become a focus of modern UFO and conspiracy theories. Some of the activities mentioned in such theories at Area 51 include: (1) The storage, examination, and reverse engineering of crashed alien spacecraft, the study of their occupants (living and dead), and the manufacture of aircraft based on alien technology. And (2) Meetings or joint undertakings with extraterrestrials.

The Word Wire sent in UFO 007. She writes: Shhhh. Don't tell anyone -- this guy is totally on the DL. He's a spy. A UFO spy. I'm sure that's top secret stuff.

Wear your seat belt, dude. It makes it much harder for the alien beams to suck you out.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I love this yarn SO MUCH.

How do I know crazy cat ladies are crazy? Well, back in May I write a post titled Ferfect on our site and added the word "ferfect" to the urban dictionary. Clearly, SOMEONE had an issue with that (see the definition directly below ferfect). Here is some FURther evidence of these people's cat craze:
From the official Crazy Cat Lady, Carm, comes the vanity plate PURRZ, which I know isn't referring to the noise of this car's engine, because she found it at a cat show.

BUFF CAT is from Amanda. She writes: Oh good, I hate when I get behind an overweight cat. The exhaust is brutal.

MEOWFUL is from Nancy. Her only comment was: Here's a new one fur ya. And do you see this license plate holder?!

CATSRCK (Cats rock) is from platty. Although, when I first saw it I thought of Cats 'n' Racks. Boobs and cats-- every man's dream. Speaking of which...

CAT-DAD is from Barb T. A very rare breed, indeed: The Crazy Cat Daddy.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Identity Crisis II

Our good friend Joe F. sent in NY PLATE (New York Plate?). He writes:

I think someone's confused.

Someone is definitely confused. That clearly looks like a Virginia plate to me...

Unsurprisingly, this isn't our first Virginia identity crisis.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Smug leads to Global Laming

Diona sent in this Honda Insight's plate, E FICENT (efficient). After looking at some of the specifications, it can get 63 mpg. Although those specifications failed to mention the smugness you feel as a result.

Marla writes: I saw this plate [PASTGAS] on a Toyota Prius at a shopping center... and I couldn't resist snapping a photo... PASTGAS? Really? ...Double entendre, anyone?

Mmm, farting Priuses. Wait, what is the plural of Prius? Prii?? Meh, who cares. Pffffttt.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Smells like brimstone in here

Sara S. brings us this week's Lovin' the Lord Sunday plate, HELF1RE (Hell fire). She writes:

Do they really let you put things like that on plates? I wouldn't have thought so, but there it was. Crazy.

End note: Do you like facebook? We do too! Join our platerazzi there. I promise no weeping and gnashing of teeth (at least for the time being).

Saturday, December 5, 2009

A Thick One

I can't think of anything that is more pleasant than imagining your vehicle filled with skulls, the bony skeleton of the head. Maybe you are a big fan of the movie? Maybe you are a collector of skulls (*shudder)? Maybe you like digging through owl poop? Maybe you hurl them from the driver's side window when anyone cuts you off? Whatever it is, I'm scared.

Plate was captured by Kolleen.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Your Mom

Aw man, mom! Do we really have to ride in the Montero to school?!

Melani X. sent in MILFFY. A MILF, according to the urban dictionary, is an acronym that does not need to be repeated here, so to "kindly" put it:

MILF: a HOT mom you'd wanna hit all night long.

Ew. TMI.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'll be using these to my advantage

DOUBL DZ is from Keith S. He writes: One can only assume we're talking about female endowments. I guess that's what they meant, but even then, jeez.

Or maybe they are a fan of Dunkin' Donuts?

So what will it be, my platerazzi? Boobies or donuts? (I know for some of you, this choice will be difficult.)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I read your e-mail

ILHACKU (I'll hack you) is from Kolleen. I assume this means this driver is a hacker of computers. Nerd alert!

Also, when hear the word hack I think, "to cut up into small bits." Um, no thank you.

The only thing that needs to be hacked now, is this plate.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

To a pulp

Here's another eye-roller for you: I B3AT U (captured by Sara S.). That 3 is supposed to be a backwards "E" making this, "I beat you." Also, I think I am able to fit my whole head in that tail pipe. Is that really necessary? What are you hiding in there? Your ego?

I know this is probably referring to the fact that this person will beat me in a street race, but I think you'll scare away most women with this on your plate. Now stay out of my lane, Mr. McCreeperson.

Monday, November 30, 2009

I'm not fat; I'm "fluffy"

After all of that...

BUTTAH (butter),
HAGNDAZ (Haggen-Dazs ice cream),
APPLE PI (Apple pie for nerds),
and CAKE last week...
This week I am going to eat nothing but SALADZ (and leftovers, of course).

Plate credit:
BUTTAH - MooseNuggette
HAGNDAZ - Erika S.
APPLE PI - Bonnie Z.
CAKE - Heather M.
SALADZ - Kolleen SALADZ! (You don't make friends with SALADZ!)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

You decide

Kate found this Lovin' the Lord Sunday gem, HVN R HL (Heaven or Hell?). She writes: Welll....hmmmm....lemme think about that for a minute.

Although, I guess this could mean numerous other things... For example, "heaving our hole."

It's a tough job, but someone has to heave that hole.