Sunday, May 31, 2009

We're Baaaaaack!

I'm happy to announce the end of the Creepiness Classics series and to officially say, "We're back!"

Thanks for those of you who've hung with us over the last two weeks. All of your wishes to us were awesome as well. Everything is back up and running, including our Twitter feed, so tweet us the plates you see out there!

A great way to come back is with one of our oldest standing categories: Lovin' the Lord. These two come to us from Sydney J.Oh my Ga! Aren't these just a match made in heaven?
While one of our specimens chose to spell out glory correctly (thus, making it a more glorious plate), the other showed off their talent by spelling "GOD" properly. *Shakes fist into air: Damn that 8 character limit!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Would You Like a Popsicle?

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Warning, Your Nickname Might Be Slang for "Crotch"

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Fortunately... But Unfortunately...

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Creepiness Classics: I'm Freakin' Out Man

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Thank you for supporting the Creepiness Classics Campaign. We'll be back soon.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Sorry About Your Inferiority Complex...

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Creepiness Classics: I Found Jesus, He's in Vegas

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Don't fret my tweeters, I haven't forgotten about you.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Creepiness Classics: I've seen some old drivers, but this is ridiculous

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Friday, May 22, 2009

Creepiness Classics: I've Got A Fever! And The Only Prescription... Is More Cowbell!

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Creepiness Classics: BIGTOYZ for insecure BOYZ

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And for those of you who think I've completely lost it, here is the explaination for the Creepiness Classics series.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Creepiness Classics: My Other Vehicle Is A Faithful Steed

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And while you're at it, join the Facebook Platerazzi.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Pepsi Elitist

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Creepiness Classics: Trans (R)am(page)

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Creepiness Classics: and JESUS was HIS NAME-O

No, we haven't forgotten Jesus.

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Bridezilla On Wheels

Because Spouse 1 is such an endearing term, No? (Thanks for the plate, Joy O.)

Now, ahem, I have a very special announcement. Most of you don't know this but the Mr. and I are getting married today. I will no longer be Ms. HLP. Now you can call me Mrs. HLP! Although, I am going to be BRIDE 4E not BRIDE 1. I mean, you have to feel kind of sorry for poor BRIDE 2 and BRIDE 3. Thanks watercolor for sending this one in a while ago. Sorry, but I just had to save it for today.

Yes, I am obsessed with Horrible License Plates. Some may say it's crazy to post on your wedding day, but I say it's crazy to get a license plate that says BRIDE 1!

We are going to be on our honeymoon for the next two glorious weeks. Posting will resume on May 31. I know it's a long time, so I have prepared what I like to call some "Creepiness Classics" for you that will post each day. I hope you like it. Do you know we've been posting to this website each day for the past 226 days?! I think it's time for a break! See you when we return.

Much love,

The Future Mrs. HLP

In the meantime you can still send plates to our email horriblelicenseplates[at]gmail[dot]com, but the reply will be delayed. I will still probably be checking up on the site and the comments, so keep 'em coming and keep those cameras handy. ReTweets on Twitter will be slow, but I will get to them.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Don't Skinny Dip; I Chunky Dunk

Take off that car bra and let that grill breathe!

Kate sends us SKNYDIP (Skinny Dip). I'm pretty sure we're talking about swimming in the nude, and not some thing you can sink a tortilla chip into, but you never know with these vanity plates. They can be sneaky (not to mention, totally creepy).

Big announcement tomorrow! Stay tuned...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

What about chocolate?

Priorities. Sigh.

Donna write to us: I thought he stopped driving it to work, and I thought of setting up an undercover operation to go to his house to find it, but I lucked out. So here it is, the HLP to end all HLPs, *Joe's Viper. He does not have a significant other that I am aware of (suprisingly).

*Name changed to protect the guilty.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You don't have to floss all your teeth. Just the ones you want to keep.

Dude, I think I see something in your teeth... Is that BROCLE (broccoli)?

Oh no! The horror! It's an entire BAYLEAF lodged between your two front teeth! Eek.
You're going to need a whole lot of FLOSS to get that thing out. Good luck with that.

Thank you to the following people for submitting places that all seemed so bizarre at the time of submission but have found there home here in this post (Although they are still very strange on their own, no? Bay leaf? Floss? Broccoli? Really?):

-BROCLE is from LadyStyx
-BAYLEAF is from Squidrox
-FLOSS is from JCK

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bring it, foo!

I got this twitpic from @schwalb yesterday, and it prompted me to do another funky fresh edition of this 6-foot white girl from Wisconsin attempting to sound cool. I bet cool isn't a cool enough word now. She tweets: Can't even think of a caption incredulous enough for this one.Alison says: My 15 year old daughter, Kaleigh, snapped this photo at a soccer game. I love that she has caught the rage…

It can strike at any age. Although I don't know how I would respond if an 80 year old lady pulled up in this Escalade. I would scream at her, "NOTHING G, WHASSUP WIT U." Then we would do some secret handshake.

LadyStyx sent us HOLLA1. Holla atcha girl! Which in "Ms. HLP speak" translates to: Could you please give me a call sometime?
Kolleen's friend Jennie snapped (har, har) this one.

According to the urban dictionary, OH SNAP:

(exclamatory phrase) a playful indication of surprise, misfortune, or insult. OH SNAP is seemingly derivative of oh-no-you-didn't where an insulted person contends the insult being made against him/her. While a derivative of "oh no you di-int," OH SNAP has more of an emphasis on playfulness and can be said by people other than those being insulted.

Monday, May 11, 2009

You can't scare me, I've given birth

On the tail of our Mother's Day post...

Maybe you're a midwife or a doula? Or maybe you just really like giving BIRTH? And I feel all capital letters are necessary at this point because who really gives birth (in lower case)? They give BIRTH(OMGWTF!1!?!).

Whatever it is, it's just not what I want to be thinking about while driving. I mean nothing perks up a traffic jam more than a metal image of a purged placenta. Am I right, guys?
Plate was captured by Georgina S.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

You're going to poke someone's eye out with that thing

Usually, we have a Lovin' the Lord feature on Sundays, but I think in honor of Mother's day I will present you with the stack of mom plates we've had in the archive (sorry, Lord).

WOW MOM. Why do we like Mom so much? Because she taught us what palindromes were. You can also flip this one upside down. (Picture taken by Amanda T.)

HPPYM♥M (Happy Mom). Thanks for letting us know. I'm sure DPRSDMOM feels really good about herself right now. (Jen H. sent this in with the comment: ahhhhh... sunshine and flowers and butterflies... or at least hearts. May I please stop puking rainbows now?)
BZY MAMA. This bothers me. I'm not a mom but I would sure feel the urge to ask this driver why she thinks she needs to announce that she is busy. Aren't all mom's busy? Give me a break. (Picture taken by Jamie P.)

At least this isn't your mom, eh? And don't forget about this mom lover.

Happy Mother's Day to all my ladies out there.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas

UNZWAY (You in zee way?) Even if I am in the way, your "cute" accent doesn't change my mind about your plate– It's very annoying. (Picture submitted by Brinn M).

OUTDWAY (Outt'da Way!) comes to us from Mari. To the driver: There are much nicer ways to ask. How about, "Excuse me, Ma'am?"
A nice response to the two above plates is NVRMOVN, sent to us by AJ. Call me crazy, but isn't the point of having a car TO MOVE FROM PLACE TO PLACE?

See a plate you want to send to us? Snap a picture of it and send them to us at horriblelicenseplates [at] gmail [.] com. And check out our Facebook fan page while you're at it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

The question on everyone's mind

WHY? That's exactly what I was thinking.

Katie O. writes: Okay, this one left me confused: the license plate itself isn't so creepy but when combined with the specialized plate "Conserve Wildlife" ... um, I'm confused. "Why" conserve wildlife? Maybe it's supposed to be a joke but I'm missing any obvious joke here.

Is anyone else creeped out by that eagle? It's like it's staring straight into my soul.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm not an English Major. I are a Scientist.

MC SQR-E (E=mc²). Triple nerd score.

I bet your bumper sticker says, "There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't." *snort laugh, snort laugh, snort laugh.

My mom still thinks I'm cool, so what's the big deal?
CAL-Q-L8 (Calculate). If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it.
Ah yes, the dreaded P-Value. Statistics class: Where fun goes to die.

Until next time, my nerds, may the F=ma be with you.

Photo credits:
MC SQR-E: LadyStyx
B1NARY: Heidi R.
CAL-Q-L8: Lauren
P-VALUE: Sydney J.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

So Many Vanity Plates, So Little Aspirin

My better judgement says I probably shouldn't post a plate this horrid, but then again, this website is all about horrible vanity plates, and it is hump day, so let's just get on with it...

Sir, don't tell me you couldn't possibly think of anything else for your vanity plate of shame. Maybe you are fan of the spice cumin? (I highly doubt it).

Oh but wait, it gets better. Is that a vanity plate for your vanity plate? *slams head upon desk* I give up. You win.

Ladystyx, who sent us this photo, thinks this might be the answer. And I mostly agree, but you would have to think that this driver had, ahem, other intentions for this plate. I mean, just look how that vanity plate's vanity plate is splatter painted. Esh.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Ohio, You Crazy!

We are just crazy about Ohio, and well, Ohio is just... crazy.

Example 1:
ABNORML (abnormal). Uh, abnormal what? Abnormal lane shifts? Abnormal turn signal patterns? Thanks for the warning.

Example 2:
INSAYN (Insane). This just proves that is far too easy to get a driver's license these days, especially in Ohio. Apparently the DMV isn't too concerned that an admittedly insane person is declaring their mental state on their plate. I guess at least this way we can't say they didn't warn us.

Ex. 1 from Squidrox, Ex. 2 from Nancy.

Monday, May 4, 2009

God's Gift To Vanity Plates

I am extending the Lovin' the Lord feature into Monday here, but I think I might put these more into a category titled "Lovin' myself." Lovin' myself Monday.

Well, I can tell you now this plate came straight FROM HVN, I mean, Illinois. Michelle B. snapped this one. It's amazing to me that people are this full of themselves. Lauren writes: Angel eyes, was on a car that belonged to a teenager, that had an inappropriate amount of stick-on hibiscus flowers on the windows.

Well good thing you have angel eyes and hibiscus flowers. I almost want to be friends with you now.

Argh! The plate rage burns!!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I’m for receiving

Ohh, I think this plate might mean I'm forgiven, not I'm for giving.

Well, the Lord may have forgiven your terrible driving, but I still have to put up with it. Just because you're forgiven doesn’t mean you can keep driving like squirrel on crystal meth.

For the new readers, this is our weekly Lovin' the Lord post where we all gather to ask: Does religion really belong on vanity plates? Enjoy.

This plate was caught by JCK. Thanks!

Saturday, May 2, 2009


This first plate comes from one of my favorite sites, Cute with Chris. I am re-posting it here, but click on the photo to go to his site. I promise hours of entertainment.

Jim in OHIO writes: "...My boyfriend Joey took this picture in the Chapel Hill Mall parking lot. A CCL obviously rocks out in this cat mobile on her drive to the mall to buy yarn to knit kitty cat sweaters."

Since everyone seemed to enjoy yesterday's cat theme, I thought another cat post was in order. The CwC submission was just icing on my cat cake. Meow, let's get down to business...
How many cats do you need to be classified as a crazy cat lady? I think if you have 9, well, you are beyond help. (From Gina T)LadyStyx saw CATZRLE (Cats Rule) and sent this to me last night. If you are getting this kind of phrase plastered on your car, you might be a crazy cat lady.

KTY GAL (Kitty Gal?) comes to us from Tracy. I know this might be "Kentucky Gal," but let's stick to the theme here. This driver loves the kittehs. They taste just like chicken.Finally, I am submitting my own work. It's been a while, I know, but I lost my camera and had to find a replacement. Good thing I found one in time to capture KAT KR8Z. Not only are you crazy, but you misused your 8 there (Cat Craightzee?). INSANE.

I think I am going to add the word ferfect to the urban dictionary. The state of being both perfect and cat themed; An oxymoron.

UPDATE: Ferfect!